E Comic Strips - Page 18
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View 171 - 180 results for e comic strips. Discover the best "E" comics from Dilbert.com.
"Remember to include my name on the patent application." "Why? You didn't help." "That's ridiculous! I've been helping you design that thing for months!" "I saved all three of your e-mails. Allow me to read them." "'Dude, is something wrong with your brain?'" "Later: 'Hey, Dilweed, maybe you should replace the backplane with a gizmo.'" "Then my personal favorite: 'Dilbag, I'm glad you took my advice to leave the backplane alone.'" "That's my way of helping." "It's great. You should patent it."
"Alice, can you show the new guy how to do a project status report?" "He doesn't read them, so we all use a random phrase generator. I'll e-mail it to you." "You said that in front of him." "He only listens when he's talking."
Note from the author "Approximately one gazillion people have suggested I draw a comic based on the following idea." "As you will see, this idea is not funny. But I give it to you anyway because I can't resist peer pressure." Unfunny Comic If you can't connect to the network, send a trouble report by e-mail. "Happy?"
Interview this candidate and make sure he isn't too old. "It's illegal to ask his age." "Just stall until you see the telltale signs of E.E.H.G." "E.E.H.G.?" "Explosive ear hair growth." "Hmm. No wrinkles. But maybe he uses moisturizers and stays out of the sun." "Wait...wait..." "Can't...hold out any...longer." "GAAA!!! Look away! Look away!" "Ha!" "Then I waited and waited...What?"
"Wally, I have to let you go..." "Well, this was bound to happen." "I guess someone told you that I e-mailed our CEO and said you think his daughter looks like a chimp." "Or is it because I built a guest house from stolen office supplies?" "Maybe it's because you found out that I've been taking a dollar out of your desk every day for seven years." "Actually, I was trying to say I have to let you go to a training class." "Is it someplace nice?"
I invented a search engine that's also a singles matching service. "It automatically matches singles who search for the same keywords." "And then it threatens to e-mail those keywords to their mothers if they don't agree to date." "I have taught you well."
"I got a job at the Indian company where you outsourced my job." "Then I arranged to work from home, which, as you know, is my old cubicle." "Fine. Here's your assignment." "E-mail it to me. My day starts in 10 hours."
"Did you fund the infrastructure project yet?" "Nope." "I'm playing budget chicken with the director of operations." "I'm hoping that his department needs the infrastructure more than we do." "If I can bluff him into funding the project with his budget instead of mine, I win." "He'll be reprimanded for exceeding his budget and I'll get a bonus for being under mine." "I'll use the bonus to buy a summer cabin by the lake." "Then I'll e-mail him pictures of my cabin and say, 'I hope you're enjoying your infrastructure as much as I'm enjoying my cabin!'" "You've reached a new low." "I've been thinking of firing you so I can get a fishing hat."
Mordac, the preventer of information services<Br>"You have exceeded your e-mail storage limit!" "To increase your limit, you must get approval from your VP, the CIO, and one nonexistent person to be named later." "I'm thinking either a yeti or a bikini model who is also an engineer." erk!