Meet Deadline Comic Strips - Page 18

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

220 Results for Meet Deadline

View 171 - 180 results for meet deadline comic strips. Discover the best "Meet Deadline" comics from Dilbert.com.

Charging Client For Thinking

Thank you for voting.
Charging Client For Thinking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 2016's comic on:


Tags #thinking, #engineers, #time, #worth, #meetings, #billing, #money, #cost

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The client says you billed them for all the time you spent thinking about their project. Dilbert: I'm an engineer. Thinking is what I do. Should I think less? Boss: Maybe you could meet with someone while you think. Dilbert: How's that working right now?

Unexpected Things Happen

Thank you for voting.
Unexpected Things Happen - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 2016's comic on:


Tags #deadline, #project, #schedule, #excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: What's the latest on the software release date? Wally: We're right on time for the pre-alpha launch, unless we run into something unexpected. CEO: How often does that happen? Wally: Whenever I need it.

False Sense Of Urgency

Thank you for voting.
False Sense Of Urgency - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 02, 2016's comic on:


Tags #guest artist, #managers, #motivation, #personality disorder, #sociopath, #strategy, #john glynn

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I don't think I'm doing enough to create a false sense of urgency. Catbert: Are you still a sociopath? Boss: That's the easy part. Catbert: Now add a meaningless deadline and some fear.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 2016's comic on:


Tags #insult, #offense, #engineer, #programmer, #coding, #anger, #technology, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: How's the software coming? Alice: Still waiting for you to give me the specs so I can start. Man: I already told you it's a cloud app that does data. Hey, I can't do your job for you. You have to meet me halfway. Aren't you supposed to be "agile?" I mean, how hard is it to rearrange zeroes and ones all day? Should I ask again tomorrow? Alice: Sure, if you're alive.

When Wally Will Be Finished

Thank you for voting.
When Wally Will Be Finished - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 2016's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #soon, #deadline, #procrastination, #standoff

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Can you get that done by Friday? Wally: I'll get back to you on that. Woman: When will you get back to me? Wally: Soon. Woman: How soon? Wally: I can do this all day.

Men Who Meet 27 Criteria

Thank you for voting.
Men Who Meet 27 Criteria - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 2016's comic on:


Tags #dating, #attraction, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: I'm looking for a man who meets my 27 criteria for a relationship. Dilbert: I'm looking for a woman who doesn't have 27 criteria for a relationship. How am I doing? Woman: Now I have 28 criteria.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 04, 2016's comic on:


Tags #logic, #no-win, #deadline

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Are these user specifications complete? I ask because any later changes will cause me to miss the deadline. Man: What if I only need a tiny change later? Wally: I'm counting on it. That way I can blame you when I miss the deadline. Man: How do most people handle this situation? Wally: Well, the pessimists know they're doomed, so it's no surprise to them when it happens. Man: What do the optimists do? Wally: They become pessimists.

Meet At My Office

Thank you for voting.
Meet At My Office - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 2016's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #schedule, #time, #wasting time, #selfish, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Computer: Let's meet at my office on Friday. Dilbert: Sure. Or... you could waste your day traveling to my office instead. Computer: You're being a jerk. Dilbert: You started it.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 09, 2016's comic on:


Tags #insult, #meeting, #tardiness, #punctual, #badmouth, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: It seems that everyone but Ted made it to this meeting. If we proceed without Ted, our decisions will be underinformed. If we try to reschedule a meeting with all of us, we will miss the critical deadline. Thanks to Ted, we have two ways to lose and no way to win. I say we use this time to say bad things about Ted to make ourselves feel better. I'll start. Ted is a lazy, selfish loser, If I could travel through time, I would prevent Ted's parents from meeting. Don't look at me like I'm the one who came late.

New Website Developer

Thank you for voting.
New Website Developer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 2016's comic on:


Tags #web, #internet, #site, #development, #code, #time, #deadline, #coding, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our website developer quit one week before the site was scheduled to be finished. But I hired a new one so we can finish on time. Dilbert: Apparently, you have never met a website developer before. Boss: So, you will be done in about a week, right? Developer: It will take me a month just to throw away the last guy's code.