Meet Deadline Comic Strips - Page 18
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220 Results for Meet Deadline
View 171 - 180 results for meet deadline comic strips. Discover the best "Meet Deadline" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday January 13,
2016
Charging Client For Thinking
Tags #thinking, #engineers, #time, #worth, #meetings, #billing, #money, #cost
Transcript
Boss: The client says you billed them for all the time you spent thinking about their project. Dilbert: I'm an engineer. Thinking is what I do. Should I think less? Boss: Maybe you could meet with someone while you think. Dilbert: How's that working right now?
Saturday January 16,
2016
Unexpected Things Happen
Wednesday March 02,
2016
False Sense Of Urgency
Tags #guest artist, #managers, #motivation, #personality disorder, #sociopath, #strategy, #john glynn
Transcript
Boss: I don't think I'm doing enough to create a false sense of urgency. Catbert: Are you still a sociopath? Boss: That's the easy part. Catbert: Now add a meaningless deadline and some fear.
Sunday March 06,
2016
Tags #insult, #offense, #engineer, #programmer, #coding, #anger, #technology, #engineering
Transcript
Man: How's the software coming? Alice: Still waiting for you to give me the specs so I can start. Man: I already told you it's a cloud app that does data. Hey, I can't do your job for you. You have to meet me halfway. Aren't you supposed to be "agile?" I mean, how hard is it to rearrange zeroes and ones all day? Should I ask again tomorrow? Alice: Sure, if you're alive.
Wednesday May 18,
2016
When Wally Will Be Finished
Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #soon, #deadline, #procrastination, #standoff
Transcript
Woman: Can you get that done by Friday? Wally: I'll get back to you on that. Woman: When will you get back to me? Wally: Soon. Woman: How soon? Wally: I can do this all day.
Wednesday August 03,
2016
Men Who Meet 27 Criteria
Tags #dating, #attraction, #relationships
Transcript
Woman: I'm looking for a man who meets my 27 criteria for a relationship. Dilbert: I'm looking for a woman who doesn't have 27 criteria for a relationship. How am I doing? Woman: Now I have 28 criteria.
Sunday September 04,
2016
Tags #logic, #no-win, #deadline
Transcript
Wally: Are these user specifications complete? I ask because any later changes will cause me to miss the deadline. Man: What if I only need a tiny change later? Wally: I'm counting on it. That way I can blame you when I miss the deadline. Man: How do most people handle this situation? Wally: Well, the pessimists know they're doomed, so it's no surprise to them when it happens. Man: What do the optimists do? Wally: They become pessimists.
Wednesday September 28,
2016
Meet At My Office
Sunday October 09,
2016
Tags #insult, #meeting, #tardiness, #punctual, #badmouth, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: It seems that everyone but Ted made it to this meeting. If we proceed without Ted, our decisions will be underinformed. If we try to reschedule a meeting with all of us, we will miss the critical deadline. Thanks to Ted, we have two ways to lose and no way to win. I say we use this time to say bad things about Ted to make ourselves feel better. I'll start. Ted is a lazy, selfish loser, If I could travel through time, I would prevent Ted's parents from meeting. Don't look at me like I'm the one who came late.
Monday October 17,
2016
New Website Developer
Tags #web, #internet, #site, #development, #code, #time, #deadline, #coding, #technology
Transcript
Boss: Our website developer quit one week before the site was scheduled to be finished. But I hired a new one so we can finish on time. Dilbert: Apparently, you have never met a website developer before. Boss: So, you will be done in about a week, right? Developer: It will take me a month just to throw away the last guy's code.