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Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I haven't looked at my high school yearbook in ages." Dilbert sits on the floor and leans against the hassock. Dilbert says, "There's Mike - voted Most Likely to Succeed . . . And Lucy - voted Most Beautiful . . ." Dogbert looks over Dilbert's shoulder and asks, "Where are you?" Dilbert replies, "Dilbert - 'Most Likely to Find a Potato That Resembles Himself.'" Dogbert asks, "Who hasn't?"
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert says, "Ten dollars . . . It's my final offer." Dogbert says, "Okay, but you can only use one hand." Dilbert pats Dogbert on the head. Dilbert says as he hands Dogbert ten dollars, "I don't believe this is now standard in the dog industry." Dogbert replies, "Oh, right, I suppose the others give it away."
Dilbert arrives at home carrying a bowling ball in a case. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I joined a bowling league." Dogbert's ears fly up in surprise and he says, "Yikes! We've become lower middle-class!" Dilbert says, "Don't be ridiculous. Bowling is good exercise. I'm doing it to build muscle tone." At the bowling alley, Dilbert sees three men who have one huge arm and one little arm. One of the men says, "Hey! 'Little Arm.'"
Dilbert sits at a table in a restaurant by himself. He looks at his watch and says, "She's an hour late." A woman approaches the table. Dilbert says, "Hi, Ellen. Didn't we agree on seven?" Ellen replies, "Hi, Dilbert." Ellen says, "I was ready on time but I decided to shampoo my carpets." Ellen continues, "Then I got involved in a crossword puzzle." Ellen explains, "This is how attractive people assert their superiority over the rest of you." Ellen continues, "Don't take it personally. I have a complete disregard for the feelings of all ugly people." Ellen continues, "I'll make this adorable face and you'll go into a stunned-ugly-guy stupor and forget the whole thing." Dilbert asks, "Uh . . . What were we talking about?" Ellen says, "You were explaining why you didn't bring me any flowers."
Dilbert and Dogbert walk on the sidewalk. Dilbert points ahead of them and says, "Look, Dogbert - a wallet." Dilbert bends down, picks up the wallet and says, "It's full of money." Dogbert shouts, "We're rich!!" Dilbert says, "We must return it to its owner." Dogbert shouts, "We're honest!" Dilbert says, "His business card says 'Sam Grouper, ruthless criminal.'" Dilbert says, "Let's hope 'ruthless' means he divorced his wife named Ruth." The criminal answers his door with a gun in his hand. Dilbert says, "Mr. Grouper, we found your wallet. No reward is expected." Sam points the weapon at Dilbert and says, "Hand it over. Give me your wallet too, then slap yourselves around and scram." Dilbert's glasses are bent and his clothes are disheveled. Dogbert holds his hands up and says, "We're morons!"
A presidential aide says to the President, "Mister President, there's another opening on the Supreme Court. One of the old guys wandered away." The aide continues, "I recommend nominating a dog this time. They tend to be loyal and everybody likes them." Dilbert hands Dogbert the phone and says, "It's for you . . . George somebody." Dogbert says, "Take a message."
At Dogbert's nomination hearings, a member of the Senate Judiciary Committee asks Dogbert, "Do you have any opinions on the right to privacy?" Dogbert replies, "No. In fact, I've never formed an important opinion in my entire life." The senator says, "You must think we're idiots." Dogbert replies, "Okay, I've formed ONE opinion . . . But that's all."
Dilbert and Wally stand with Nervous Ted. Wally says, "I hear that big layoffs are coming, Nervous Ted." Ted screams and spills his coffee. Dilbert says, "Let me try one." Wally says, "Okay, but give him a minute." Ted looks frazzled.
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock wearing a turban. Dogbert says, "I've changed my name to Nostradogbert the Prophet." Dogbert continues, "Nostradogbert predicts that a monkey shall speak skeptically of the great." Dilbert replies, "That's ridiculous." Dogbert says, "One-for-one so far." Dilbert says, "I doubt it."
Dilbert asks a pregnant woman, "When's the baby due?" The woman says, "Baby? What baby?" The woman continues, "Can't a woman go off her diet for one day without getting that question??" Beads of sweat fly off Dilbert's forehead. The woman thinks, "Next . . ." Wally asks, "So, when's the baby due?"