Sales Person Comic Strips - Page 18

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417 Results for Sales Person

View 171 - 180 results for sales person comic strips. Discover the best "Sales Person" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new wireless hassock prodcut, #sales people, #work in teams, #wear e;ectroshock, #close the deal

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The Boss: "We haven't sold a single unit of our new wireless hassock product." "Our plan is to make the sales people work in teams and take turns wearing electroshock pants." "Now close the deal, Cliffy, or it's payback time." "BUY IT!!! BUY IT!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #day off, #gerbil, #heartless, #horrible person, #insensitive, #mean, #sisters weight, #toss in casket, #twin sister death

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Carol: "I need a day off to attend my twin sister's funeral." The Boss: "A whole day? How well did you know her?" Carol: "She.. was.. my... twin." The Boss: "But not identical!" Carol: "How does that matter?" The Boss: "Well, she didn't even look like you." The Boss: "And yet you want a whole day off for a service that takes fifteen minutes." Carol: "Gaa! It would be impossible to be more insensitive!" The Boss: "I'll compromise. My pet gerbil is on his last legs. I'll give you the day off if you toss him in the casket so I don't have to bury him myself." Carol: "When do you think it will die?" The Boss: "Depends. How much does your sister weigh?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #poorly designed product, #ever been killed, #tainted research

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"This is the Dogbert research company. Have you ever been killed by a poorly designed product?" "My tainted research shows that your products haven't killed anyone." "For an extra $50,000, I can call a second person." "I don't want to jinx it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales drop, #invent something, #everyone wants, #visionary leadership, #demands of boss, #unreasonable demands on staff, #money making, #shortfalls

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The boss: Sales are dropping like a rock. Our plan is to invent some sort of doohickey that everyone wants to buy. The visionary leadership work is done, How long will your part take.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stupidity, #at eork, #anti stupid gun, #annihilates stupid part, #rest intect, #read directions

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Dilbert: There seems to be more stupidity than usual at work. Garbageman: Borrow my antisyupidius gun. It annihilates the stupid part of a person and leaves the rest intact. Dilbert: Cool Dilbert: I should have read the directions more carefully,

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #decions, #dark demon, #ineffective management, #help deciosn, #requested smitting

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"Uh-oh, someone wants me to make a decision." "I summon the dark demon of ineffective management to smite the person who wants this decision!!!" "Maybe I could help you make the decision." "I requested smiting."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deepest budget cuts, #death spiral, #data driven focus

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"The leadership team can't decide where to make the deepest budget cuts." "But don't worry. I offered to bring a systematic, data-driven focus to the process." "A death spiral goes clockwise north of the equator." "Budget cuts" "Research" "Design" "Sales" "Mancom"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job interview, #vacation, #yelling, #bad impression, #nothing right, #work to death, #late for interview

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The Boss: You're an hour late for a job interview. woman: You're working me to death! Im only one person! I need a vacation! The Boss: you're supposed to say that stuff after I are you. woman: OOO suddenly I can't do anything right?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #great design, #big seller, #attractive, #honor flaw, #functionality, #sex crimes, #accuses user, #cute

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"Product designer" "The new product is selling like crazy, thanks to it's great design." "Sales" "It's so attractive that people over look its minor flaws in functionality." "For example, it accuses the user of sex crimes whenever company comes over." "And it's cute!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #girlfriend, #two probelms, #looks, #personlaity, #extreme makeover, #fascinated by new person, #9 good tsories, #social liability, #relationships

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Dilbert: why can't I find a girlfriend? DOgbert: you have two problems: your looks and your personality. Dilbert: Hmm,two itsn't bad. I can fix my looks by getting and extreme makeover. Dogbert: you'll still need to improve M.T.T.S.F. Dilbert: What? Dogbert: mean time to story failure: Its a measure of ho long you can be fascinating to a new person. Dogbert: Ive been counting and you only ave nine good stories after you use them up youre a social liability. Dilbert: I saw a horse kick a woodchuck over a fence. Dogbert: still only nine.