Side Effect Comic Strips - Page 18
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184 Results for Side Effect
View 171 - 180 results for side effect comic strips. Discover the best "Side Effect" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday September 12,
2015
Writing Code In Spare Time
Monday September 14,
2015
Dilbert Working On Boss's Side Job
Tags #work, #labor, #free, #taking advantage, #side job, #boss, #conflict of interest
Transcript
Boss: Did you finish the website I asked you to make for my side business? Dilbert: No, because you keep me busy 100 percent of the time in my regular job. Boss: Hey, it isn't easy asking for twice as many status updates either.
Saturday October 31,
2015
The Cause Of Human Motivation
Tags #motivation, #cause and effect, #trick, #deception, #logic, #laziness, #work ethic
Transcript
Wally: Do you believe human motivation is the product of a person's genes or the environment? Boss: Both. Duh. Anyway, I asked you here to discuss your terrible job performance. Wally: We just did. You said it isn't my fault.
Thursday June 16,
2016
Dinner With A Social Justice Warrior
Tags #sjw, #internet, #personality, #political correctness, #politically correct, #flirting, #insult, #masculinity, #technology, #psychology
Transcript
Man: I'm a social justice warrior. That means I'm on our side. Do you want to go to dinner with me? Alice: No, thanks. I'm into men. Man: I am a man. Alice: Don't make me turn around and prove you wrong.
Friday July 08,
2016
Ted Has No Family
Tags #human resources, #judgement, #deciding, #business
Transcript
Catbert: Ted went on extended disability because a fly went up his nose and laid eggs. Boss: I want to be green, but I don't know if I should side with the fly or the employee in this situation. Catbert: Well, for what it's worth, Ted doesn't have a family, but the fly does.
Tuesday August 16,
2016
Boss Buys Software Without Help
Tags #bad advice, #Advice, #sales, #lying, #deception, #business
Transcript
Boss: I bought new software for our network. Dilbert: Who helped you on the technical side? Boss: The vendor. He said our current software uses the wrong kind of electricity.
Sunday October 23,
2016
Tags #email, #communication, #response, #confusion, #honesty, #overshare
Transcript
Man: Did you see my email? Dilbert; Did you mean your two-page document that has about twelve questions for me sprinkled throughout? Man: Yes, that's the one. Why haven't you responded? Dilbert: It's hard to answer that question while being polite. Man: You can be honest. Dilbert: Your email was such a disorganized mess that I assumed everything you do is doomed to fail. I didn't want to waste half a day deciphering it just so I could be on the losing side. With you. Man: Next time, just say you were busy. Dilbert: And I was busy.
Sunday December 11,
2016
Tags #health, #morning, #waking up, #sleepless, #complaining, #manager, #sociopath, #emotions
Transcript
Boss: Can you take a call with our Elbonian customers at 6 a.m. tomorrow? Dilbert: Sure. All I need to do is put my health at risk by not getting enough sleep tonight. Of course, I'll hate your guts for making me come to work so early. And I would expect my bad attitude to infect my co-workers and make them less productive, too. My lack of sleep will affect my decision-making, obviously. And I"m working on important projects, so the ripple effect could be catastrophic. So, do you still want me to be here at 6 a.m. tomorrow? Boss: Yes. You don't have to be a sociopath to be a manager, but it helps.
Monday December 11,
2017
Boss Counts Cards
Tags #gambling, #gambler, #card counting, #blackjack, #poker, #cards
Transcript
Boss: I've decided to become a professional gambler on the side. Dilbert: Sounds risky. Boss: Nah. I'm teaching myself to count cards. 50...51...51...53! Nailed it again!