Talking Clothes Comic Strips - Page 18

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

367 Results for Talking Clothes

View 171 - 180 results for talking clothes comic strips. Discover the best "Talking Clothes" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #at party, #camera advice, #engineer, #physical, #wally dressed as engineer, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is talking to a woman at a party. The woman says, "You're an engineer, maybe you can tell me what kind of digital camera I should buy." Dilbert responds, "Would you ask a doctor for free advice?" The woman says, "I got a complete physical by the appetizer." Wally approaches them in a doctor's uniform and says, "Yeah, I'm never off duty."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #performance review, #denial, #anger, #bargaining, #depression, #acceptance, #trash talking, #lunch, #objectives, #glowing email, #7 stages, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Seven Stages of a Performance Review. Alice is sitting at her computer. The Boss approaches and says, "It's time." Headline: Denial. Carol is sitting across from the Boss. She looks at her evaluation and exclaims, "What the...? These aren't even my objectives!" Headline: Anger. Alice grabs The Boss by his tie and says, "Who said these things about me?!" Headline: Bargaining. Alice calms down and asks, "What if I make someone write a glowing e-mail about me?" Headline: Depression. Alice slumps in her chair and says, "Morale slipping away... hair.... so.... limp." Headline: Acceptance. Alice stands to leave and says, "Whatever, there's no budget for raises anyway." Headline: Trash-talking. Alice walks away from The Boss' office and says to herself, "... Wool-covered pile of ignorant monkey spit." Headline: Lunch. Alice sits in her cubicle and thinks, "A falafel would hit the spot."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #everyones opinion, #Advice, #best job, #crazy ideas, #mental, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: "I'll get everyone's opinion, and then I'll make my decision." Alice: "Translation: you'll take the advice of whoever does the best job of trash-talking everyone else." The Boss: "Where do you get these crazy ideas?" Dilbert: "She's mental."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #make exceptions, #created on seeing machines, #dead dinosaurs, #animal prodcuts, #naked, #electricity from oil

View Transcript

Transcript

Mike the Vegan. Mike: I use no animal products whatsoever! Dilbert: Your clothes were created on sewing machines that used electricity from coal and oil, and those come from dead dinosaurs. Mike: I need to start making exceptions.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #porject, #top prioroty, #tell everything, #bored, #can't stay awake, #haven't talked yet, #gets worse

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Your project is my top priority. Tell me everything that I need to know. In so bored...cant...stay...awake. Dilbert: I haven't started talking yet. The Boss: Int gets worse??! Dilbert: oo okay

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #defend against lawsuits, #records retention policy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "To defend lawsuits, our records retention policy has been updated to include this..." Bam! The Boss: "What was I talking about?" Wally: "The records retention policy."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #real estate agent, #documents, #overarched homes, #scarecrow manuafactirer, #run over

View Transcript

Transcript

The real estate agent DOgbert: Initial every page of this steaming mound of documents. Dilbert: This says that if I insist on overpricing my house then my agent can run over me with an SUV and... sell my clothes to a scarecrow manufacturer. Dogbert: its rarely enforced.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #performance review, #meetings, #too negative, #poo posed ideas, #cold fusion, #perpetual motion, #clothes dryer, #antigravity pants, #mri vending machine, #terrible ideas, #negative attitude, #tongue scraper

View Transcript

Transcript

"Performance review" "People say you're too negative in meetings." "Negative? When?" "According to the marketing department, you poo-pooed a number of their ideas..." "...The cold fusion scooter, perpetual motion clothes dryer, antigravity pants, MRI vending machine, and the list goes on." "Those are terrible ideas!" "Negative attitude!!! Gottcha!!!" "Okay, you're right. From now on, I will support all terrible ideas." "Good." "It's a tongue scraper and a frozen flagpole!" "Can it be electrified?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wave, #say bah, #its been nice talking, #dog, #man, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

"When you ask me questions, I usually wave my hand and say, 'Bah!'" "But from now on, I'll say 'why do you want to know?' And then I'll say, 'Bah!' over your answer." "How often do you hear the phrase 'It's been nice talking to you?'" "Not so much."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vp marketing, #saturate airwaves, #as campiagn, #talking squirrel, #fake accent, #complete fraud, #pack up desk, #ruin everything

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: Our Vp of marketing here to describe our new bet the company strategy. we'll saturate the airwaves with an ad campaign featuring a talking squirrel. He'll have a face norwegian accent like, "Geeve me zee nuts" ha ha! Any questions? Yes, you with the strange ghead, Dilbert: How will a talking squirrel make people but our products? I just realized Ima complete fraud, I'll pack up my desk and leave immediately. The Boss: can we get through one meeting without you ruining everything?