Very Advanced Comic Strips - Page 18

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

229 Results for Very Advanced

View 171 - 180 results for very advanced comic strips. Discover the best "Very Advanced" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"How was your conference call?" "Very successful. Bill said he'd find a new supplier for the casing." "Or it might have been Ron, Ted, or Bob. They all sound the same on the phone." "I hope it wasn't Bill. He never follows through." "Ron is too overworked, Ted is a liar and Bob's a moron." "I'd say the call was a waste of time. It might even be a huge step backward." "Success is the happy feeling you get between the time you do something and the time you tell a woman what you did."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"I cannot decide if you are very wise or just a big stupid moron." "Well, I'll tell you, little cowpoke, when the snake falls in love with the spaghetti, it's time to buy a new hat." "You look more flustered than a barefoot squirrel at a tire store." "Gaaa!!! They almost make sense!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Flashback: Indian Institute of Technology. "Your telekinesis grades are very good, young Asok." "Always remember that you may not use your powers in front of the ungifted." Present Day "What the...? I just blinked and the last doughnut disappeared!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #quagmire, #alien, #highly advanced intelligence, #genius

View Transcript

Transcript

Alien: I am an alien with highly advanced intelligence. I have come to share my genius with this company. Asok: Me too. But they don't like that sort of thing here. It's a quagmire."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alien, #bring technology, #handle oa agavel, #new guy, #order in the court, #simpletons, #snout, #working out, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

I came to this company to bring the technology of my advanced culture to you simpletons. "Has anyone ever told you that your snout is like the handle of a gavel?" "A what?" "How's the new guy working out?" "ORDER IN THE COURT!" BAM BAM BAM

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alien, #technology, #superior being, #moron, #yammering, #about linux, #easy come

View Transcript

Transcript

ALIEN: I came from a distant planet to bring you advanced technology, but no one here will listen!" "I am a superior being, you moron! Listen to what I tell you and then do it!" THE BOSS: I fired him before he started yammering about Linux." Catbert: Easy come, easy go."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's tech support "Try turning off your router, your modem, and your computer." "Now turn off your air conditioning, your lights, and your water heater. Unplug your microwave and defrost your refrigerator." "You're very thorough." "Cancel your garbage service, renounce your citizenship, and yank out your phone."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #factory, #elbonia, #stock swap, #reached agreement, #rebels, #company value, #terrorits, #indirectly

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "I reached an agreement with the rebels so they won't attack our factory in Elbonia." "It's a stock swap. Every time they collect a ransom, the value of our company will increase." The Boss: "Doesn't that make us terrorists?" Dilbert: "Very indirectly."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #funding terrorists, #indirectly, #bed kind, #rebels, #brainwashed, #compnay, #money, #iran, #power point

View Transcript

Transcript

dogcart: I heard your company is funding terrorists. Dilbert: "Very indirectly." "And they aren't the bad kind of terrorists. They're more like rebels who sometimes do terrorist things." Dogbert: "How did they brainwash you so fast?" Dilbert: "Iran supplied them with PowerPoint."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bitter, #unsuccessful scietists, #lazy journalists, #toddlers thrive, #pollution

View Transcript

Transcript

Rent a Weasel. Dogbert: "I need three bitter and unsuccessful scientists and a hundred lazy journalists." weasel: "Very good." Dilbert: "Did you know toddlers thrive on pollution?"