2 Days Comic Strips - Page 18

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View 171 - 180 results for 2 days comic strips. Discover the best "2 Days" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #18 hour days, #industry, #competitors die trying, #match

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "You've got to work eighteen hours a day to compete in this industry!" Dilbert cunningly says, "Let's just say we work eighteen hours a day. Maybe our competitors will die trying to match us." The Boss asks Dilbert, "Would that work?" Dilbert answers, "It almost worked for us."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #antimicrobial polymer, #pick up lines, #two women, #stinky socks, #turn off, #a no no

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Dilbert is standing at a party with two women. He says, "My socks use an anti-microbial polymer to bond chlorine atoms to cotton." He continues, "I can wear these babies for days before they start to stink." Dilbert asks Dogbert, "What was that other pick-up line we talked about?" Dogbert answers, "It was 'Hi.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vp, #office, #spy, #lose document, #use tools, #desk, #avoid making decison, #procrastination

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2:19PM The VP Reads a Document. The subject tries to lose the document to avoid making deciosn. 2:21 PM The subject learns to use tools.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #judy, #missing days, #judy isn't here, #morale is higher, #coughing, #certificate

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The boss is standing drawing his arm in the direction of Judy, who is standing beside him. The boss says, "The attendance award goes to Judy for missing the most days." As the employees sit and applaud, the boss says, "I think we all agree that morale is higher when Judy isn't here." The boss hands Judy a certificate and says, "We took turns coughing on the certificate."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vacation days, #raise, #e, #ployees, #change vacation days, #permission, #more empowered

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Alice is standing in front of the Bosses desk, the Boss says, "I can't give you a raise because you came to work on one of your vacation days." The Boss says, "Employees are not allowed to change vacation days without permission." The Boss says, "On an unrelated note, try to be more empowered."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director, #Catbert, #sick days, #unusual reasons, #imagined to be fly, #hair, #crazy reasons, #made up reason, #fake excuses

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CAption: "CAtbert: Evil H.R. Director" CAtbert says, "Wally, you've taken sick days for unusual reasons." Catbert looks at a piece of paper and says, "For example, one day you got sick because you "...accidently imagined what ir would be like if you were a fly." Catbert says, "And today it's your hair?" Wally says, "I lathered and rinsed but I don't remember repeating."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #relocatating, #better cubicle, #team of movers, #boxed possessions, #undisclosed location, #laminate company id

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Asok is packing boxes. He tells Dilbert, "I'm relocating to a better cubicle." Asok continues, "Tonight a team of movers will take my boxed possessions to an undisclosed location." Asok continues, "They're also going to laminate my company I.D." Asok continues, "I'm supposed to leave it with the guard on the way out." Asok holds up a check and says, "And I got paid two days early!" Asok continues, "It's all because management appreciated the constructive criticism I posted on the message board." Asok folds his arms proudly and says, "As I hoped, my condescending tone helped them to see their folly." Dilbert asks, "Do you mind if I rifle through your boxes and take office supplies?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #eneter appointments, #pda, #enter meeting, #voice controlled

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The boss sits in a metting with Wally and Dilbert. The boss holds a gadget and says, "It took me three days to enter all of my appointments into this PDA." The boss says, "I'll enter our next meeting. Tuesday... two o'clock." Wally says, "Is it voice-controlled?" The boss says, "I sure hope so."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogbert consults, #eliminate phone support, #via internet, #discourage people, #ominous list, #personal questions

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Caption: "Dogbert Consults" Sogbert stands on the boss's desk. DOgbert says, "Eliminate phone support for your product. Provide help only via the internet." Dogbert's tail wags and he says, "Then discourage people by making them answer an ominous list of personal questions." Man looks terrified in front of his computer the computer screen reads, "1. What is your home address? 2. When do you shower?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #awake, #two days staright, #deadline, #all for nothing, #middel, #stack, #forget it

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Alice stands at Carol's desk. Alice hair is a mess and she holds a report. Alice says, "I stayed awake for two days straight to finish this R.F.Q. by the deadline." Alice says, "But it will all be for nothing if you don't send it out today." Alice hands the folder to Carol. Carol puts the folder in the middle of a huge pile of papers on her desk and says, "I'll put it in the middle of the stack so I won't forget."