Afraid Of Change Comic Strips - Page 18

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318 Results for Afraid Of Change

View 171 - 180 results for afraid of change comic strips. Discover the best "Afraid Of Change" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 19, 2002's comic on:


Tags #mostly cosmetic change, #unplug, #invention, #people into sheep, #cosmetic change

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Dilbert is tinkering with a machine. He says to Dogbert, "My invention will turn people into mindless sheep." Dogbert responds, "I'm curious how you'll know it works. I assume it's mostly a cosmetic change." Dilbert has been transformed into a sheep, but he doesn't know it. He continues to tinker with the machine and asks, "Dogbert, did you unplug it as I asked you?" Dogbert replies, "Couldn't be bothered."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 2002's comic on:


Tags #drop by iq, #measure of drop by visitor, #stay in cubicle, #one hour

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Dilbert is sitting on the couch at home. Dogbert says, "I've developed a new theory of intelligence that I call 'Drop-by-I.Q.'" Dogbert continues, "It's a measure of how long a drop-by visitor will stay in your cubicle when you're trying to work." The Boss is standing in Alice's cubicle. He says, ..."And that's why I'm afraid of bananas." Alice looks at her clock and thinks, "One hour and counting."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 2002's comic on:


Tags #temp requested, #afraid of commitment, #stand like this, #no chair needed

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Carol brings a man into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Here's the temp you requested." Dilbert extends his hand. The temp backs up and exclaims, "Gaaa!! No handshake! I'm afraid of commitment!!" The temp motions as if he is running and says, "I won't need a chair. I like to stand in this position."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 2002's comic on:


Tags #dogcart attorney, #too late, #change, #punish client, #expect awkward silences, #next break

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Headline: Dogbert the Attorney. Dogbert raises his hand and says, "Your honor, is it too late to change sides?" Dogbert continues, "After hearing the evidence, I want to punish my client." After a pause, Dogbert asks, "No?" The Boss glares at Dogbert. Dogbert continues, "I expect some awkward silences during the next break."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 2002's comic on:


Tags #latest assignment, #impossible, #slow speed of light, #perfect art, #human cloing, #eliminate garvity, #stop the sun, #reanimate dead, #impossible tasks, #change the world, #nature

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Dilbert hands a piece of paper to The Garbageman and asks, "Does my latest assignment look impossible?" The Garbageman reads the paper and replies, "Let's see... You'd need to slow the speed of light, and perfect the art of human cloning..." Dilbert asks, "So there's hope?" The Garbageman responds, "Eliminate gravity, stop the sun, reanimate the dead."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 2002's comic on:


Tags #camouflage suit, #cubicle wall, #make tie, #don't be afraid

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Wally's head is floating in a cubicle wall. Dilbert sees him, drops his coffee, and exclaims, "Gaaa!" Wally responds, "Don't be afraid." Wally says, "I made a camouflage suit out of cubicle-wall fabric. Heh, Heh." Dilbert says, "You need a mask too." Wally responds, "I ran out of material. It was a mistake to make a tie."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 2002's comic on:


Tags #tech support, #document, #free paper, #quality of paper, #lousy regular, #silkier, #accept the things can't change

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Dogbert says into his telephone headset, "This is Dogbert's Tech Support. How may I abuse you?" The man on the other end of the line replies, "My printer prints a blank page after every document." Dogbert says, "Why would you complain about getting free paper?" The man responds, "Free? Isn't it just giving me my own paper?" Dogbert replies, "Egad, man! Look at the quality of the free paper compared to your lousy regular paper!" Dogbert continues, "Only a fool or a liar would say they look the same!" The man responds, "Now that you mention it, it does seem silkier." Dilbert approaches Dogbert and asks, "What are you doing?" Dogbert replies, "I'm helping people accept the things they can't change."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 2002's comic on:


Tags #least expensive vendor, #requirements, #change mid project, #lowest bid, #fired later, #fired mid project, #outplacement service, #every sale

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Dilbert is meeting with a business associate. The business associate says, "We're the least expensive vendor unless your requirements change mid- project." Dilbert responds, "So... I'll get fired if I don't select the lowest bid, or I'll be fired later when the bills for change orders pour in." Dilbert says, "I prefer to be fired mid-project." The business associate replies, "We offer outplacement service with every sale."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 21, 2002's comic on:


Tags #change your mind, #sales + talk= stalk, #sales guy, #new position, #not good, #Dilbert

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Headline: Dilbert the Sales Guy. Dilbert is meeting with a customer. He says, "I'll talk to you every day to see if you change your mind." The customer replies, "Don't talk to me every day." Dilbert says, "You might change your mind." Dilbert comes home and says to Dogbert, "Did you know that if you cross 'sales' with 'talk' you get 'stalk?'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 2001's comic on:


Tags #more useful, #bizarre absolute, #feature

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Dilbert says to a coworker, "We should add this feature to our product to make it more useful." The coworker responds, "Are you telling me that not ONE person on Earth will use our product without that feature?!!? Dilbert says, "You changed what I said into a bizarre absolute." The coworker exclaims, "Oh, I change everything you say?!"