Avoid Work Comic Strips - Page 18
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1000 Results for Avoid Work
View 171 - 180 results for avoid work comic strips. Discover the best "Avoid Work" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday December 01,
2018
Workplace Bully
Tags boss, bully, managers & supervisors, office workers, threat, work
Transcript
Boss: Cheryl, the other employees are complaining that you're a workplace bully. Cheryl: Hand over your wallet or else I'll tell your boss you tried to give me a shoulder rub. Carol: Did you talk to her? Boss: Don't ever ask me to do anything for your again.
Wednesday November 28,
2018
Sending Email At Night
Tags email, employees, office, office workers, sarcasm
Transcript
Asok: I keep working hard, but no one notices. Wally: That's why I send out department-wide emails at around midnight every night. Asok: I didn't know you work at home every night. Wally: Do I need to speak slower here?
Friday November 23,
2018
Dilbert Teaches The Dumb People
Tags computers, insults, marketing, office workers, sales, teaching, smart
Transcript
Dilbert: My boss asked me to teach a class on coding because it is hard to find programmers in this job market. Are there any smart people in the class or do you all work in marketing and sales? Voice: What's that supposed to mean? Dilbert: Thank you. Is anyone else in sales?
Sunday November 18,
2018
Tags boss, engineering, frustration, managers & supervisors, office workers, work, schedule
Transcript
Dilbert: I finished coding the new feature. Boss: What took you so long? Dilbert: It took as long as it needed to take. Boss: You're behind schedule. Dilbert: I'm not the one who created the schedule! That was you!!! Maybe you should fire yourself for being so bad at making schedules. Boss: That's not how it works! Dilbert: What does that even mean? Boss: They're starting to catch on that most of what I say doesn't mean anything.
Saturday November 17,
2018
No Internet
Tags business, complaining, engineering, office workers, technology
Transcript
Boss: The network will be down all day, but try to do what you can without it. Dilbert: What can we do without it besides drink coffee, complain, and whittle? Boss: No knives at work. Dilbert: Hold off on the whittling.
Sunday November 11,
2018
Tags boss, cost, engineering, managers & supervisors, office workers, ladder, waste
Transcript
Boss: Do you know where I can find a ladder? Dilbert: I can help you with that, but it will come at a big cost. It took me all morning to finally get "in the zone" to figure out this bug. Your interruption will set me back to square one and cost an entire day of productivity. Meanwhile, the rest of the team can't do their work because they are waiting for me to fix this bug first. So yes, I can help you find a ladder. But it will cost the company about $12,000 in lost productivity. I hope you have a good reason to need a ladder. Boss: I do. Ten minutes earlier. Boss: I wonder what ceiling tiles feel like.
Tuesday November 06,
2018
Speakerphones
Tags boss, criticism, distraction, managers & supervisors, office, office workers, phone call, sarcasm
Transcript
Dilbert: I accomplished nothing this week because my idiot co-workers continue to use their speakerphones in the office. This is compounded by the fact that my idiot boss doesn't allow me to work from home. If you need me, I'll be sitting in my cubicle doing nothing but waiting for other people's phone calls to end.
Saturday November 03,
2018
Best Places To Work
Tags employees, employment, irony, lying, managers & supervisors, office
Transcript
Boss: We're trying to get on "best places to work" list. If you agree to lie on the survey, maybe we can attract some good employees to make this a best place to work. Dilbert: What? Boss: Keep your eye on the prize.
Wednesday October 31,
2018
Boss Leads All The Way
Tags business, encouragement, irritation, managers & supervisors, trick, deadline
Transcript
Boss: We'll all need to work around the clock to meet the launch schedule. I'll be leading you every step of the way! Now, don't hate me because I can lead you while I'm home asleep. That's not my fault.
Tuesday October 30,
2018
Intentionally Underbidding
Tags Dilbert, the boss, intentionally, underbidding, extra-shoddy, work, grossly, overcharging, upgrades, criminal, organization, proven
Transcript
The Boss: We won the job by intentionally underbidding. But we can close the profit gap by doing extra-shoddy work and grossly overcharging for upgrades. Dilbert: Are we a criminal organization? The Boss: Not in a way that can easily be proven.


