Couldn't Be Worse Comic Strips - Page 18

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181 Results for Couldn't Be Worse

View 171 - 180 results for couldn't be worse comic strips. Discover the best "Couldn't Be Worse" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #elbonians, #elbonia, #making, #decisions, #paper-rock, #scissors, #olympic, #agree, #rules, #wourse, #mittens, #point

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Dilbert says to Dogbert, "You've got to step down as King of Elbonia. These people are capable of making their own decisions." An Elbonian says, "The Paper-Rock-Scissors Olympics are canceled. We couldn't agree on the rules." The Elbonian continues, "And of course, we all wear mittens . . ." Dogbert asks Dilbert, "What was your point?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #faked, #hollywood, #minutes, #world, #news, #major, #stories, #string, #attached, #space, #shuttle, #reruns

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. As they watch television, Dogbert asks, "How do we know that the news isn't faked in Hollywood?" Dogbert continues, "Why is there exactly thirty minutes of world news every night? And why don't major stories ever happen on weekends?" Dogbert points at the tv and says, "And I'm sure I see a string attached to the space shuttle." Dilbert says, "Worse yet, it's a rerun."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #car, #salesman, #Dogbert, #lying, #part, #crime, #pay, #retired, #readers digest, #special, #story

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I quit my job as a used car salesman." Dilbert asks, "Because you couldn't keep lying?" Dogbert replies, "No, the lying was good. I liked that part." Dilbert asks, "Was it because crime doesn't pay?" Dogbert says, "I made $400,000 this week. I'm retired now." Dilbert says, "I don't think this will ever be a 'Reader's Digest' very special story."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #realize, #Draw, #simpsons, #bicycle, #worse, #bike, #Dogbert, #bart

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Dilbert sits at the table drawing on a piece of paper. Dilbert says, "People don't realize how easy it is to draw 'The Simpsons.'" Dilbert shows his picture of Bart Simpson to Dogbert and says, "See, he's riding a bicycle." Dogbert says, "Your Bart is worse than your bike."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #self, #service, #curve, #pumps, #figure

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Dogbert stands in front of several men and says, "Dogbert's School for Self-Service Gas Station Attendants will not be easy." Dogbert says, "Phillips! What would you do if a customer couldn't figure out how to use the pumps?" Phillips answers, "Nothing. It's self-service." The man sitting next to him thinks, "Great . . . there goes the curve."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bob, #dinosaur, #hardware, #store, #phillips screw, #fern, #invented

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Dilbert arrives at home carrying a bag full of tools. Bob the Dinosaur says, "Looks like another shopping binge at the hardware store." Dilbert replies, "I couldn't resist." Dilbert takes a drill out of the bag and says, "Gee, Bob, what did dinosaurs do before tools were invented?" Bob replies, "It was hard . . ." Bob continues, "Sometime, you should try to tighten a Phillips screw with a fern." Dilbert replies, "That's no way to live."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #phone, #answering machine, #greeting message, #demonstration, #Dogbert, #demonstrating

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Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I bought a phone answering machine." Dogbert asks, "Was the phone asking you questions you couldn't answer on your own?" Dilbert says, "The hard part is thinking of a greeting message." Dilbert says into the answering machine, "Hi. This is Dilbert. I'm not here right now." Dilbert says, "Well, technically I am here 'now' . . ." Dilbert says, "But 'now' is a relative term, so use your best judgment in deciding whether I'm here." Dilbert says, "Hmm . . . That was actually a creative little message." Dogbert says, "Demonstrating, once again, that subtle difference between creativity and complex stupidity."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #garbage man, #Dilbert, #garbage, #equations, #engineer, #calculations

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Dilbert opens his door and the garbage man stands on the doorstep. The garbage man holds up a crumpled piece of paper and says, "Pardon me, sir, but I couldn't help noticing these equations in your garbage." The garbage man continues, "I took the liberty of correcting a few quantum calculations." Dilbert asks, "Gosh, why are you a garbage man?" The garbage man replies, "I think the question is 'why are YOU an engineer?'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #plant, #suicide, #note

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Dilbert kneels on the floor looking at a plant in a broken pot. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "It's weird . . . I was just talking to it like I ususally do and it fell off the desk . . ." Dogbert asks, "What's this little piece of paper?" Dogbert reads, "I couldn't take it anymore . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #history of glue, #book

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Dogbert and Dilbert sit at a table. Dogbert asks, "How do you like your new book - 'The History of Glue?'" Dilbert replies, "I couldn't put it down." Dilbert and Dogbert look at each other.