Gets Cancelled Comic Strips - Page 18
189 Results for Gets Cancelled
View 171 - 180 results for gets cancelled comic strips. Discover the best "Gets Cancelled" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share July 15, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert's head is bandaged and his arm is in a sling. Dilbert says, "I've had nothing but tragedy since making a fortune in the stock market." Dilbert continues, "Sometimes, Dogbert, it seems like our lives have preset balances of joy and pain; when one gets too high the other kicks in to compensate." Dilbert continues, "But through it all, I always have you, my friend." Dogbert replies, "At least until my good luck kicks in."
Share July 04, 1992's comic on:
A woman hands Dilbert a baby and says, "Everybody in the office gets a turn holding my new baby." Ted says, "Next." Dilbert holds the baby and thinks, "Uh-oh . . . Sneeze coming." Dilbert sneezes. Dilbert looks at the baby and says, "Ooh! Look what he does when you sneeze on him." Ted says, "He looks like a prune!" The mother looks shocked.
Share May 30, 1992's comic on:
The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "My consultant advised me to handle the layoffs in a direct, professional way." The Boss holds up a rubber stamp and continues, "So, throughout the day I'll be sneaking up on people and stamping 'Canceled' on their backs." As Wally runs away, Alice says, "Let me see if I understand . . ." The Boss points and says, "Hey! Is that the Goodyear blimp?"
Share April 12, 1992's comic on:
The panel is titled, "Dogbert's Guide to Movie Advertisements." Dogbert says, "Trust me." The advertisement says, "'Thumbs up.' -Gene Siskel." Dogbert says, "Meaning: Roger Ebert hates it." The advertisement says, "'Nominated for an Academy Award.'" Dogbert says, "Notice they don't say for what -- probably 'Best Gaffer.'" The advertisement says, "'Funniest movie of the year.'" Dogbert says, "He saw it in mid-January." The advertisement says, "Four stars . . . A masterpiece!'" Dogbert says, "The movie studio only paid off one critic. Must be a low-budget film." The advertisement says, "'Powerful performances.'" Dogbert says, "It's a downer. Somebody probably gets a disease and loses the farm." The advertisement says, "'I loved it!' -Floyd Belcher, Nosehair Magazine." Dogbert says, "Remember to consider the source." The advertisement says, "Stallone's funniest movie yet." Dogbert says, "I think you get the hang of it."
Share August 11, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert drives his car and thinks, "Motorist in distress up ahead." A woman in a car asks, "Can you help me, young man?" Dilbert replies, "Have no fear, I'm an engineer." Dilbert looks under the hood of her car and says, "Hmm . . . Yes, I see . . . Try it now." The woman tries to start the car and says, "Nothing." Dilbert says, "Okay, try it now." The woman gets out of the car and looks over his shoulder. The woman says, "Hey, you're not doing anything but fiddling and poking at things!" The woman continues, "In fact, there's nothing in here that you could conceivably fix with your bare hands. My God, you men are frauds!!" The woman continues, "It's lucky I'm out of gas; you might have caused an explosion!!"
Share April 19, 1991's comic on:
The caption says, "When you're alone, you start thinking weird thoughts." Dilbert sits in his desk chair thinking, "Do bugs sweat?" The caption says, "The longer you're alone, the weirder it gets." Dilbert holds a pen in his palm and thinks, "I can levitate this pen with my mind." The caption says, "Don't stay alone too long." Dilbert sits in his house thinking, "How would it feel if I shaved my entire body."
Share April 14, 1991's comic on:
The strip is titled, "Dogbert's guide to your tax dollars." A vacuum cleaner sucks up dollar bills. Dogbert says, "Did you ever wonder how all that tax money gets spent? Roll the tape." The caption says, "Inventing secret things." Two scientists look at a device. One of them says, "It doesn't look like much, but it'll smart like crazy if you sit on it." The caption says, "Sending secret things into space." The other scientist says, "Maybe we'd better classify it secret and send it into space with the other stuff." The caption says, "Education." A teacher says, "Sex will kill you, food will kill you, smoking will kill you, alcohol will kill you, drugs will kill you . . ." The children sitting at their school desks look frightened. The caption says, "Art grants for things you aren't open-minded enough to appreciate." Dilbert looks at a shoe sitting on a pedestal. The artist says, "I call it 'The Bug I Hated.'" The caption says, "Advanced health care." Two doctors stand next to a bed where a skeleton lies. One physician says, "You were right, Benson. X-rays and microwaves are not the same thing." The caption says, "Paying Congress." A senator says, "Our raises came through!" Another says, "I think I'll send myself a thank-you note!"
Share January 18, 1991's comic on:
Dogbert approaches Dilbert sitting at a desk. Dogbert says to the man and woman following him, "This exhibit is the pride of 'Dogbert's Museum of the Strange and Amazing.'" Dogbert continues, "This is an engineer, deep in a computer-induced trance and oblivious to his environment." Dogbert holds out a container of balls and says, "You can bop him in the back of his head with whiffle balls for ten cents a throw." The man gets out his wallet and says, "Gimme a dollar's worth."
Share October 25, 1990's comic on:
A man points to a painting and says to Dilbert, "Notice how the eyes seem to follow you." Dilbert moves his head and says, "Wow, that's a weird effect." The man says, "It gets better." Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper. The eyes from the painting followed him home and are sitting on the window sill.
Share September 30, 1990's comic on:
Dogbert walks toward the Dog Doctor. The veterinarian says, "Hi, Dogbert. How are you?" Dogbert replies, "Not so good, Doc." Dogbert explains, "I have a bad case of 'happy tongue.'" The vet says, "Hmm . . . Is your tongue happy for any particular reason?" Dogbert replies, "No reason at all. I'm quite worried." The vet says, "I'm going to prescribe these tongue depressors. Use one every time your tongue gets too mirthful." Dogbert leaves the office humming. The doctor thinks, "I like that dog."