Internet Problems Comic Strips - Page 18

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396 Results for Internet Problems

View 171 - 180 results for internet problems comic strips. Discover the best "Internet Problems" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #internet & world wide web, #seattle, #quick meeting, #stone age tribe, #skype, #never used, #why fly, #telecommunte, #airplane

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Boss: I need you to fly to Seattle for a quick meeting. Dilbert: Will I be meeting with a newly discovered Stone Age tribe that has never used Skype? Boss: No. Dilbert: Then I'm totally confused.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #discussion, #internet & world wide web, #humor consultant, #have more fun, #internet access to entertainment, #funny comment

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Boss: I hired a humor consultant to teach us how to have more fun at work. Dilbert: Does he cancel out the consultant you hired to filter our Internet access to entertainment? Wally: That was a funny comment. How'd you do that without a consultant?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gloating, #ignorance (knowledge), #internet & world wide web, #digital media curation, #trendy jargon, #ignorance on dsiply, #not worthy, #curation means

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Man: My role is digital media curation. Dilbert: Am I supposed to know what that means? Man: Ha ha! I look down you for not understanding my trendy jargon. Your ignorance is on display for all to see! Leave this meeting now! You are not worthy! Dilbert: Maybe you could just tell us what curation means. Man: Fine. Let's try that. It means um... um... Is it too late for me to overlook your ignorance and move on?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computers & peripherals, #internet & world wide web, #down load apps, #new phone, #primary job, #formulas in excel

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Boss: Can you show me how to download apps on my new phone? Dilbert: I could... but that would take time away from my primary job of showing you how to do formulas in Excel. Apparently the eight times I already taught you weren't enough. Boss: I don't use Excel often enough to remember from one time to the next. Dilbert: How often do you expect to download apps? Boss: It's hard to say. I just know I want all of them. How many are there? Dilbert: Four.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet & world wide web, #office equipment, #public speaking, #ordinary powerpoint, #portal, #another dimension, #fantasy, #reality, #trade places, #slides

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Dilbert: This might look like an ordinary Powerpoint slide. But it is actually a portal to another dimension in which fantasy and reality have traded places. Boss: Stop playing with my slides. Dilbert: Beware the horned beast that crosses over.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #actions & defenses, #computers & peripherals, #internet & world wide web, #international data security standards group, #security prcedures, #bed sores

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Boss: Dogbert is chairing the international data security standards group. Dogbert: The goal of our organizations is to make your security procedures so inconvenient that you give up hope and die from bed sores. We take pride in being independent from the companies that fund us.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gadgets, #scientific equipment, #data center, #lights out, #eliminate problems, #moving cables, #power cords, #ruining everything, #speakerphone, #humans are germs, #science

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Voice: The data center is evolving into a "lights out" operation. Employees will no longer be allowed in the data center. We hope to eliminate all of the problems that humans cause by moving cables, unplugging power cords, and ruining everything with their dirt and static. Dilbert: He makes it sound as if the data center is alive and we humans are nothing but germs. Alice: By the way, who called this meeting and who's on the speakerphone? Dilbert: Are you... the data center? Noise: CLICK. Dilbert: I have a bad feeling about this.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hardware, #internet & world wide web, #next week balancing, #traffic loads, #network, #worst wingman, #shame

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Wally: Is it okay if I spend the next week balancing traffic loads on our newtork? Asok: I thought I told you that our hardware vendor already did that. Wally: Worst wingman ever. Asok: Shame is my name!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #quarreling, #mastered art, #being useless, #next level, #toxic, #toxic people, #complain, #personal problems

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Dogbert: Each of you has already mastered the art of being useless at work. It's time to take it to the next level. Today I will teach you how to be toxic. Toxic people talk about two types of things. One: bring up topics that are sure to cause others to fight. Two: complain about your personal problems at every opportunity. Your homework is to practice at work tomorrow. Wally: I mentioned to Alice that you think her plan is kind of lame.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet & world wide web, #monsters, #turned feral, #engineers, #social life, #social skills, #few weeks, #wolfman, #howls at inetrnet

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Alice: Steer clear of Darryl. He turned feral. Asok: Feral? Dilbert: That's what happens when engineers don't get invited to meetings. Alice: Darryl's only social life was meetings. Dilbert: He didn't get to use his social skills for a few weeks, and apparently he lost them. Asok: Is it like he turned into a wolfman? Dilbert: Yes, except he's better at math. And he howls at the Internet, not the moon. Asok: Can we watch? Man: How-ooo can you blog that?