New York Harbor Comic Strips - Page 18
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1000 Results for New York Harbor
View 171 - 180 results for new york harbor comic strips. Discover the best "New York Harbor" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday September 07,
2016
Weak Sales Reorg
Tags executives, money, golden parachute, greed, logic, sales, business
Transcript
Boss: Our executive team didn't know what to do about weak sales. SO they reorganized the company and gave themselves new titles and big raises. They still don't know what to do about weak sales, but they report being happier about the situation.
Monday September 05,
2016
Electric Car Business
Tags electric car, scam
Transcript
Boss: We're getting into the electric car business. Dilbert: Why? Boss: Because it sounds impressive and it will take years for anyone to figure out we did it wrong. We'll have new jobs by then. Dilbert: Did you just turn my job into a criminal conspiracy?
Sunday August 28,
2016
Tags scam, death, reincarnation, con, con artist, ghost, medical
Transcript
Dogbert: I'm starting a new business selling clothes to ghosts. My garments are made of the finest ectoplasm. Dilbert: Ghosts don't have money. Dogbert: They don't need money. I'm using a life insurance business model. If you pay me until you die, I will keep your ghost well-dressed for eternity. I also offer reincarnation services. Leave all of your stuff to me when you die and I'll give it back to you when I find the baby that got your soul. Dilbert: You'll be in trouble if your customers realize you're running a scam. Dogbert: If dead people start complaining, we've both got bigger problems than my scams.
Thursday August 25,
2016
Dogbert Discovers Dogbertium
Wednesday August 24,
2016
Dogbert's Particle Accelerator
Tags scheme, plan, deception, trick, science, invention
Transcript
Dogbert: I built a particle accelerator in the basement. Dilbert: Sounds expensive. Dogbert: Not if you use cardboard. My plan is to say I discovered one new particle per week. When scientists fail to confirm my discoveries, I will say they need better accelerators.
Wednesday August 17,
2016
A System For Transferring Mistakes
Tags blame, mistake, boss, review, human resources, revenge, business
Transcript
Boss: Make sure we get all of the cost savings that our vendor promised with our new software. Dilbert: Those savings are not real. The vendor lied to you because you know nothing about technology. Boss: If only I had some way to turn my mistake into his mistake. Catbert: It's called a performance review.
Tuesday August 16,
2016
Boss Buys Software Without Help
Monday August 08,
2016
Boss Gets A Nickname
Tags scientist, nickname, obliviousness, stephen hawking, black holes, space, science
Transcript
Wally: Our new nickname for you is based on the work of Stephen Hawking. Hawking is one of the greatest scientific minds of our time. Boss: I like it! Dilbert: I need him to make a decision today. Carol: Toss it in the black hole.
Monday August 01,
2016
Brittle Phone Design
Tags cell phone, big business, fragile, iphone, technology
Transcript
Boss: We made our new phone extra-brittle and gave it a sleek, but slippery case. Consumers will be forced to choose between an ugly protective cover or replacing the phone three times a year. Dilbert: Who would buy such a thing? Boss: We also made it addictive.
Monday July 18,
2016
Wally Creates Virtually Reality Goggles
Tags vr, virtual reality, deception, laziness, work ethic
Transcript
Wally: Check out the new virtual reality googles. You wear them all day to upgrade the way you experience the world. Narrator: Later. Boss: It's good to see you working so hard, Wally.


