Old Apple Computer Comic Strips - Page 18

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

850 Results for Old Apple Computer

View 171 - 180 results for old apple computer comic strips. Discover the best "Old Apple Computer" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #question, #smartphone, #internet browser, #slow, #old, #wrinkly, #dead, #google, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I can research that question with my phone's browser." MUCH TIME PASSES The Boss says, "I found the Google!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #clothes, #new look, #black turtleneck, #jeans, #juice bag, #insult, #hulu, #Opinion

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "My new look is a black turtleneck and old man jeans. What do you think?" Carol says, "You look like a total juice bag." The Boss says, "That's good, right?" Carol says, "What answer gets me back to watching my shows on Hulu?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #statue of liberty, #destroy, #pr, #responsibility, #clean up, #new york harbor, #light show, #weapon demo, #podium, #speech, #fish food

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO says, "The media is on our back because we accidentally destroyed the Statue of Liberty. We need your P.R. advice." Dogbert says, "Did you take full responsibility and promise to clean up the harbor?" CEO says, "Ooh." Earlier that day CEO says, "Many of you don't know that the Statue of Liberty was very old... and made entirely of fish food."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rfq, #resopnd, #computer, #discipline, #useless, #lazy, #front, #yoda, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "Wally, can you respond to this RFQ by tomorrow?" Wally says, "That depends." Wally says, "I take a disciplined approach to allocation my limited resources." Wally says, "First, I'll need to evaluate all of the alternative uses for my time." Wally says, "If doing this RFQ thing comes out on top, then yes, I can do it." Man says, "When do you think you will know that?" Wally says, "Maybe next week. Unless something comes up." Man says, "So... you're useless." Wally says, "I don't see you getting much done right now either." Wally says, "Did you know that being disciplined is almost the same as being useless?" Dilbert says, "Yoda? Is that you?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer help, #trap, #yell, #freak out, #hair stand up, #rant, #hug, #kill, #head in hands

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina says, "I need help with my computer." Dilbert says, "It's a trap!" Dilbert says, "If I touch your computer, you'll think that every future problem is caused by something I did." Dilbert says, "You'll tell everyone I ruined your computer!" Dilbert says, "I'll be obligated to solve every computer problem you have from this day on." Dilbert says, "My own projects will be left to wither as I show you for the ninethieth time how to select a new font." Dilbert says, "If I refuse to help, you'll tell my boss I'm not a team play." Tina says, "Do you need a hug?" Dilbert says, "Only if you can squeeze hard enough to kill me."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #leader, #process, #decision making, #gut, #instinct, #annoy, #question, #frustrated, #yell, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "A good leader uses a process for making decisions." Dilbert says, "May I take this one?" Wally says, "Go." Alice says, "Make us proud." Dilbert says, "Question: If making a decision is just a process, why can't a computer do it?" The Boss says, "Because sometimes I have to rely on my gut." Dilbert says, "Which part of your gut is the smart part? Is it the stomach lining, or maybe the colon?" The Boss says, "I'm talking about instinct. It's an indefinable leadership quality." Dilbert says, "Is the indefinable thing like a superstition?" Wally says, "Or cooties?" The Boss says, "It's a process!" Dilbert says, "Is that your colon talking?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #avoid work, #lazy, #love, #crazy, #insane, #stalking, #old carpet, #married, #wide eyes, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol says, "Wally, you helped me avoid work, and now I can't help loving you." Carol says, "I show my love by a combination of insanity and stalking." Wally says, "Aren't you married?" Carol says, "You owe me an old carpet."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #matrix management, #neo, #earbuds, #ipod, #computer, #powerpoint, #die, #scared, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "This is where you jack into matrix management, Neo." Wally says, "Insert these iPod ear buds and fire up PowerPoint. The reality you once knew is gone." Wally says, "One more thing: If your computer dies during powerpoint, your career dies in the real world."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer problem, #human error, #stupid, #mock, #cabbage

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Was it human error?" Dilbert says, "I doubt it" Dilbert says, "No human would be that stupid. My best guess is that a cabbage got access to your computer." The Boss says, "Cabbbages can't use computers." Dilbert says, "Can they tell when they're being mocked?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mordac, #preventer of information services, #upgrade computer, #vampire, #evil smile, #panic, #caveman, #complain, #costumes

View Transcript

Transcript

Mordac the Preventer of Information Services Mordac says, "It's time for your operating system upgrade." Dilbert says, "Gaaa!" Dilbert says, "Please don't! My CMS software won't work with the new operating system. I'll be a technology have-not!" The Boss says, "It's never good when they wear costumes to complain." Dilbert says, "Ooga"