Problem With Clone Comic Strips - Page 18

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1000 Results for Problem With Clone

View 171 - 180 results for problem with clone comic strips. Discover the best "Problem With Clone" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dogbert Designed The Simulation

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Dogbert Designed The Simulation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #simulation, #creator, #three dimensional, #avatar, #truth, #made

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dogbert: i didn't want to tell you this, but you're a simulation designed by a three-dimensional creator. and i'm an avatar used by your creator to interact with your world. dilbert: i refuse to believe that is true dogbert: yep. that's how i made you

Need To Retrain

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Need To Retrain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #business, #office, #retrain, #proposal, #employees, #risk, #cost, #work

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boss: your idea is dumb because we'd have to retrain people dilbert: are you waiting for a plan with no costs, no work, and no risk? boss: yes, why are you holding that one back?

Lifestyle Disagreer

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Lifestyle Disagreer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #conversation, #office workers, #sarcasm, #disagreement, #attitude

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Man: I hear what you're saying, and I disagree. Dilbert: Because...? Man: Because what? Dilbert: Do you have any reasons for your disagreement? Man: No, I'm a lifestyle disagreer. I disagree with everyone all the time. The reasons are irrelevant. Dilbert: You sound smart. Man: No. I'm not smart. Dilbert: And you're attractive too. Man: No. I'm ugl...okay, I see what you're doing.

Curse Of Competence

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Curse Of Competence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer software, #employees, #office workers, #problem, #sarcasm, #condescending

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Man: I need your help solving a software problem on my computer. Dilbert: Why am I cursed with the sort of competence that makes me a servant to the incapable? Man: I don't know what that means. Dilbert: If you did, you could probably fix your own problems.

New Tv Ad

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New Tv Ad - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #business ethics, #marketing, #men and women, #office workers, #relations between the sexes, #accuse

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Dilbert: Ben, from marketing, is here to give us a preview of our new tv ad. Ben: The opening scene shows a bunch of men who are weak and stupid, failing to solve a common problem. Then a confident and strong woman enters and solves the problem with ease. Dilbert: Isn't that incredibly sexist? Ben: No, because only the men are weak and stupid. Dilbert: And that's not sexist? Ben: Why are you being so weak and stupid? You sound like a bigot. Dilbert: I'll be quiet now. Wally: As quickly as it began, the rebellion was quashed.

Head Banging Outcome

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Head Banging Outcome  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #frustration, #office workers

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Wally: What happened to your head? Dilbert: I've been banging it against a wall to reduce my frustration with my co-workers. Wally: Is it working? Dilbert: I think so because I don't remember your name.

Inexperienced Employee Advice

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Inexperienced Employee Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #employees, #irritation, #office workers, #sarcasm, #experience, #arrogant

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Man: Hi, I'm an inexperienced employee who tells experienced employees how to do their jobs. I compensate for my lack of experience with a thing called arrogance. Dilbert: That sounds worth-less. Man: Oh, yeah? Then why does every company have one of me?

Agreeing With The Boss

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Agreeing With The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #climate change, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #office workers, #agree

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Boss: As my new pet employee, your job is to agree with everything I say in meetings. Can you do that? Wally: Sure. How hard could it be? Boss: Climate change is caused by gravity. Wally: That's right!

Wally Has Higher Income

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Wally Has Higher Income - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lying, #managers & supervisors, #money, #office workers, #bribe, #salary

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Wally: Now that I'm the boss's new pet employee, my income is higher than ever. Dilbert: I didn't realize it came with a raise. Wally: It's more of an indirect thing. Man: I'll give you $100 to tell the boss good things about me. Wally: My price for lying is $200.

Wally Is New Pet Employee

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Wally Is New Pet Employee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business ethics, #criticism, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #work ethic

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Boss: I"m looking for a new pet employee. The ideal candidate would be a brown-nosing tattler with no ethical core. Wally: That sounds like a brilliant idea, even though Dilbert says you are a moron. Boss: You got the job.