Raise Temp Comic Strips - Page 18

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

220 Results for Raise Temp

View 171 - 180 results for raise temp comic strips. Discover the best "Raise Temp" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #raise didn't go, #secretary, #didn't do paperwork, #initite disciplinary actions, #disciplinary action forms

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert tells the Boss, "My raise didn't go through because your secretary didn't do the paperwork." Dilbert continues, "I demand that you initiate disciplinary actions against her!" The Boss says, "I'll try, but . . ." The Boss stands behind Carol's desk and asks, "Carol, could you get me one of those disciplinary action forms?" Carol replies, "Sure, right after my ski trip to hell."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #haven't submitted paperwork, #raise, #show up, #talk to boss, #too busy, #secretary needs secretary

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks the Boss's secretary, "Carol, do you know why my raise hasn't showed up in my pay yet?" Carol replies, "I haven't submitted the paperwork." Carol says, "I'm too busy to do it. Maybe you should talk to my boss about getting me a secretary." Dilbert says, "Carol, YOU are the secretary." Carol replies, "That'll cost you another month."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #enter profession, #huge difference, #self esteem, #corporate trainer, #downsizing

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert sits on a file cabinet and tells Dilbert, "I'm going to enter a profession that will make a huge difference in my self-esteem." Ratbert continues, "I'll be a corporate trainer in a company that's downsizing." Dilbert asks, "Are you sure that will raise your self-esteem?" Ratbert asks, "Why would I want to RAISE it?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #effective raise, #evil, #mr catbert, #moving, #slow motion

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally asks Catbert, "When will my raise be effective?" Catbert replies, "The same time you are." The caption says, "The evil Mr. Catbert, Director of H.R., is feeling 'in the zone.'" Catbert sits at his desk thinking, "It's as if all the employees are moving in slow motion."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #offered pormotion, #another department, #snail crud, #fantasy, #reality, #current assignment, #too valuable, #comapny, #raise, #valuable assignment, #why low morale, #breath

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "I've been offered a promotion in another department." The caption says, "Fantasy." Dilbert says, "I'm outta here, you worthless piece of snail crud!!" Dilbert laughs wickedly. The caption says, "Reality." Dilbert says, "I meekly request to be released from my current assignment." The caption says, "Fantasy." The Boss says, "I would never stand in your way. Congratulations!" The caption says, "Reality." The Boss says, "I can't release you. You're too valuable." The caption says, "Fantasy." Dilbert pulls the Boss's tie and says, "If I'm so valuable, explain my last raise!!!" The caption says, "Reality." The Boss says, "In fact, I have ANOTHER valuable assignment for you." Dilbert stands in stunned silence. Dilbert tells Wally, I'm doing a survey to find out why morale is so low." Wally replies, "I think it's your breath."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meets expectations, #review, #two percent raise, #eighty hour week, #three patents, #make millions, #donated bone marrow, #attendece problem, #cheated on money, #alice, #take advantage, #cheap, #scammed

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss sits at his desk and says, "Alice, your performance this year is 'meets expectations.' You get a two percent raise." Alice looks shocked and says, "MEETS EXPECTATIONS?! I worked eighty hours every week!" The Boss replies, "Yeah . . . Well, I expected that." Alice yells, "I earned three patents this year! The company will make millions!!" The Boss says, "Really? Wow. I mean . . . I expected that too." Alice clenches her teeth and shouts, "I donated bone marrow to our biggest customer!!! Twice!!!" The Boss replies, "I noted that under 'attendance problem.'" Alice, Dilbert and Wally sit at a table eating lunch. Alice leans on the table and covers her face. Dilbert tells her, "I told you the bone marrow thing would haunt you." Wally says, "I'm starting to think the time I worked through lunch was for nothing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #prisoners dilemma, #smal raise, #rat on, #good times, #no co ed prisons

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert looks over the wall into Wally's cubicle and says, "Wally, these peer reviews are like the famous 'prisoner's dilemma.'" Dilbert explains, "If you rat on me but I say good things about you, you get the biggest raise. But if we praise each other we can BOTH get a small raise." Alice looks over the wall and says, "Wally, if you rat him out, I'll let you look at my 'Victoria's Secret' catalog." Dilbert says, "This is exactly why there are no coed prisons."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ranking, #rating system, #salary depnds, #bpss, #defends, #managers, #ring a bell

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss's secretary tells Dilbert, "He's with the other managers in an employee ranking and rating session." The secretary continues, "Your salary depends on how well your boss can defend your proposed raise to the other managers." Dilbert covers his eyes and sobs. A man says to the Boss, "I'm fairly sure this Dilbert guy works for you." The Boss replies, "Doesn't ring a bell."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #two percent annual, #disppoint, #compensated, #drastic, #low expectations, #good sign, #thinking

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice sits at a manager's desk and yells, "A two percent annual raise?!! Wowee!!" Alice continues, "Ha ha! You tried to disappoint me but I compensated by drastically lowering my expectations!" Wally and Dilbert peer in the door and see Alice dancing on a chair and shouting, "Weeee!!" Dilbert says, "Yeah, it MIGHT be a good sign, but I'm thinking not."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boring, #idiotic coworkers, #main accomplishment, #newsletter, #no raise, #performance review, #two percent raise, #uninteresting, #value of team work

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Performance Review." Tina the Tech Writer sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Your main accomplishment was the department newsletter which was both uninteresting and unimportant. You get no raise." Tina looks shocked and says, "The newsletter was YOUR idea, and it's boring because most of the articles are contributed by my idiotic co-workers." The Boss says, "You don't seem to understand the value of teamwork." Tina replies, "I understand its value; it just cost me a two-percent raise."