Real Freinds Comic Strips - Page 18

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185 Results for Real Freinds

View 171 - 180 results for real freinds comic strips. Discover the best "Real Freinds" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #ben, #newest, #fast-track, #manager, #real, #experience, #executive, #style, #hair, #silver

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "Dilbert, I'd like you meet Ben, our newest fast-track manager." Dilbert says, "Hi." The Boss says, "Ben has no real experience but he's very tall, so we know he'll go far." Ben adds, "I also have executive style hair." The Boss says, "We think it will turn silver."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 1992's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #accomplish, #performance, #worthless, #generate, #license

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Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Tell me what you've accomplished this year so I can write your performance appraisal." Dilbert answers, "The inventions I made last year - that you thought were worthless, will generate twelve million in license fees next year!" The Boss asks, "So, no real accomplishments THIS year?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #seven, #advantages, #dumb, #bob, #ozone, #layer, #doggie, #doctor, #solution, #television, #car, #constrained, #budget, #elvis, #compliment

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Dogbert sits on a stool. The panel contains the title, "Dogbert Presents: The Seven Advantages of Being Dumb." The caption says, "1. Impending doom doesn't bother you." Dilbert tells Bob the Dinosaur, "There's a hole in the ozone layer." Bob replies, "Cool!" The caption says, "2. Television is a source of constant wonder." Bob sits in a chair watching tv and thinking, "I wonder if Doogie is a doctor in real life." The caption says, "3. You have a solution for every problem." Bob thinks, "If people are starving in Africa they should move to France." The caption says, "4. You are not constrained by a budget." Bob sits in the driver's seat of a convertible car. He shouts to Dilbert, "It was free! They just make you sign papers!" The caption says, "5. You've seen Elvis . . . Frequently." Bob watches a man walk by and says, "It's the King!" The caption says, "6. Instant replays are as exciting as live action." Bob watches tv and thinks, "This time he could make it." The caption says, "7. You receive twice as many compliments." Dogbert says, "You're kind of the Dan Quayle of dinosaurs." Bob says, "Really?! Wow!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #karate, #real, #life, #male, #daydream, #sequence, #tought, #nobody, #else

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit in the chair watching tv. On the television program, there is a whack and someone grunts. Dogbert says, "On television you can knock a person out with one karate chop." Dogbert continues, "Just think how useful that could be in real life." The caption says, "Male daydream sequence." Dilbert stands in a line thinking, "This movie line is too long." Dogbert karate chops the man in front of him. Dogbert knocks down the next man in line. The first person in line screams as Dogbert knocks him down. Dogbert stands at the ticket booth. He thinks, "I'm glad nobody else thought of that first."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 10, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #women's guide to avoiding dilbert, #groups, #dissect, #Men, #boyfriend, #sentence, #ladies', #night, #tipped, #Number, #knows, #love, #romance, #ating

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The strip is titled, "Women's guide to avoiding Dilbert." The caption says, "Wear stereo headphones, look straight ahead and outrun him." Dilbert chases a jogger asking, "What's your name?" The woman ignores him. The caption says, "Comb your hair over your face to avoid accidental eye contact." Dilbert waves his hands at a woman but her hair covers her eyes. The caption says, "Travel in groups and make it clear you will dissect any man." A woman tells three other women, "I've noticed that all men have B.O. (body odor)." Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh." The caption says, "Drive to and from secret destinations in fast cars." Dilbert watches a woman drive by in a sports car. He thinks, "I wonder where she lives?" The caption says, "Mention a boyfriend in every sentence." Dilbert says, "Nice weather." The woman replies, "My boyfriend likes weather." The caption says, "Never attend a ladies' night activity." Dilbert stands in a bar with three other men. He thinks, "No women . . . I wonder what tipped them off." The caption says, "Never give out your real phone number." Dilbert looks at a piece of paper and says, "This only has three digits." The woman says, "Everybody knows me there."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 20, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #senator, #issue, #working, #real, #problems

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Dogbert writes, "Dear Senator, I demand a constitutional amendment banning the obscene and anti-American lyrics in opera." Dilbert asks, "What makes you think a senator will care about an issue like that?" An aide says to a senator, "I think we found another issue to keep us from working on real problems." The senator reaches for the letter and says, "Ooh-ooh!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 19, 1990's comic on:


Tags #dog, #chief, #oppose, #obscene, #lyrics, #broadcasts, #real, #words, #italian

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A man at TBC says, "We got a complaint letter from a dog, chief." The man continues, "He claims to represent fifty million dogs who oppose the 'obscene' lyrics of our opera broadcasts." A man at a desk says, "Obscene? They don't even sing real words." The man replies, "Apparently it's Italian, sir."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #lamp, #magic, #genies, #released, #wishes, #disturbed, #wiener, #binding, #contract, #relish, #hot dog

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Dogbert stands on a table rubbing a lamp. Dilbert asks, "Why are you rubbing that lamp?" Dogbert replies, "It's a routine check for magic genies." Dilbert says, "Carry on." A genie pops out of the lamp and says, "You have released me." Dogbert shouts, "Yes!!! Ha, ha!! Now you must grant me three wishes!" The genie replies, "Get real, four-eyes. We don't have a binding contract here." The genie says, "I LIKE living in a lamp. You disturbed me. I'm going to turn you into a wiener and go home." The genie turns Dogbert into a hot dog. He thinks, "At least it's an experience I can relish."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 03, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #elbonia, #subsidary, #communism, #capitalism, #economics, #appreciation, #real world, #engineers

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Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Dilbert, I'm sending you to Elbonia to open our new subsidiary." Dilbert asks, "Elbonia?" Dilbert continues, "But they only renounced communism last week!! They don't understand capitalism or economics. They have no appreciation of the real world." As he packs his suitcase Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . He thinks they'll make fine engineers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #dinosaurs, #evolved, #bird, #Family, #Dogbert, #realize, #paleolithic, #era, #living, #nuisance

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Dogbert sits on the hassock and Bob and Dawn the Dinosaurs sit on the floor. Dogbert says, "I read that dinosaurs evolved into the bird family." Bob replies, "That's exactly correct, Dogbert." Bob continues, "But most people don't realize that there was a very difficult period when some dinosaurs started evolving into birds." Bob continues, "Learning how to fly was the hardest part." Several dinosaurs jump off a cliff and land on their heads. Another dinosaur straps on a helmet. Bob continues, "And living in trees was a real nuisance." A dinosaur clings to a branch as it falls to the ground. Dogbert says, "Boy, that sounds tough." Bob says, "The tragic part is that we did it just for the 'bonus miles.'"