Second Monitor Comic Strips - Page 18
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View 171 - 176 results for second monitor comic strips. Discover the best "Second Monitor" comics from Dilbert.com.
Dilbert enters an auto service store and says to an auto mechanic, "Just a quick question: is is necessary to change my oil . . ." Dilbert continues, ". . . Or can I just keep letting it run dry and then add new oil?" The car mechanic looks shocked. The mechanic screams and falls to the ground. Dilbert looks at the reader and says, "I think the answer is going to be 'no' to that second option."
Dogbert walks on the sidewalk. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks, "Hey dog! What's the quickest way to go to the hospital?" Dogbert replies, "Drive as fast as you can into that tree." The driver asks, "What's the second quickest way?" Dogbert replies, "Hmm . . . Well, go left, then right, right, left, left, left, right, left, left." The says, "Thanks!" as he drives away. Dogbert thinks, "Actually, I have no idea how to get to the hospital . . ." Dogbert thinks, "But I didn't want him to think I'm a jerk."
Dogbert sits on a pillow listening to the radio. Dilbert says, "Dogbert, I'd like to have a word with you." Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert says, "The neighbor says you glued little suction cups on their new kitten and stuck him on their windshield." Dogbert asks, "What's the problem, some kind of copyright infringement?" Dilbert asks, "What's your second guess?"
Dilbert walks down the hallway thinking, "Oh, crap. This is the third time today that I will walk by this same guy in the hall. I barely know him." Dilbert continues thinking, "This is so awkward. The first time, I said 'hello.' The second time we both made those closed-mouth grins and arched our eyebrows. What do I do the third time?" Back at home, Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . So I pulled the fire alarm." Dogbert says, "I don't think Miss Manners is gonna back you on this one."
The caption says, "Dilbert demonstrates the art of joke telling." Dilbert and Dogbert sit on chairs across from each other. Dilbert says, ". . . So the first guy orders a beer and a cactus . . ." The caption says, "A good joke teller will seek to establish a pattern." Dilbert continues, ". . . Then the second guy . . . Heh, heh . . . Orders a beer and a cactus . . ." The caption says, "Tomorrow's lesson: timing." Dilbert continues, ". . . So then the seventy-third guy comes in . . ." Dogbert is asleep.
Dilbert and Dogbert look at a holograph of a flower bouquet. Dilbert says, "The big advantage of my holographic flower invention is that you get infinite simulated bouquets." Dilbert continues, "You can give it to a girlfriend and program it to change on all special occasions." Dilbert says, "Just think of the money you can save over a relationship." Dogbert asks, "By never having a second date?"