Shake Hand Comic Strips - Page 18
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Character
354 Results for Shake Hand
View 171 - 180 results for shake hand comic strips. Discover the best "Shake Hand" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday December 28,
2000
Tags tape pencil, hand, raise, would be unethical, ten percent, hiccup damage, moral compass
Transcript
Asok the Intern watches Wally taping a pencil to the hand of The Boss who is comatose. Wally says, "I'll tape a pencil to his hand and use it to sign off on a raise for me." Asok the Intern says to Wally, "That would be so unethical... hiccup. May I have ten percent?" Wally works on getting the pencil into the comatose Boss' hand as Asok says, "That hiccup damaged my moral compass."
Wednesday December 27,
2000
Tags avoid work, faking coma, punch repeatedly, get alice, right or left handed
Transcript
Wally waves his hand in front of The Boss' blankly staring eyes and says to Dilbert, "He might be faking a coma to avoid work." Wally says to Dilbert, "The only way to find out is to punch him repeatedly." Dilbert says, "Maybe we should get Alice." Wally, bunching his fists, asks, "Do you remember if I'm right- or left-handed?"
Saturday November 18,
2000
Tags blank copies, copied wrong sides, intern, new temp, talk to hand, tells off
Transcript
Asok: These copies you made for me are blank. New Temp: Thats because all the originals were blank. Asok: Maybe you could have checked the other sides, New temp: Talk to the hand.
Friday November 17,
2000
Tags agency, get it, hand, joke, play on words, dogbert temp
Transcript
New Temp: Im from the DOgbert Temp agency, DO you need a hand? Dilbert: I get it, her her! New Temp: Get what? Dilbert: Then I said, "Don't get mad: try counting to fifteen" Wally: Ouch.
Thursday November 16,
2000
Tags alice, hand, head, new temp, new temp likes, shakes hand on head
Transcript
New Temp: Its a pleasure to meet you Alice. OOWEE!! That was a good hand shake.
Wednesday November 15,
2000
Tags genetic anamolies, genetic engineering, grow on, hand growing on head, new temp, temp agnecy, wear goggles
Transcript
Dogbert: The Dogbert temp agency uses genetic engineering to grow our own workers. The Boss: Isn't that dangerous? Dogbert: I wear safety goggles. Temp: Im the new temp. Alice: Um Im alice.
Sunday October 08,
2000
Tags the inspirational ceo, poor results, engineers, cause & effcet, generate results, pathetic losers, losers, energy, squirming, health
Transcript
The CEO is at a lecturn. The CEO says, "Our company is too good to have results this poor." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question." The CEO thinks, "%#!* Engineers." The CEO says, "What?" Dilbert says, "Are you saying the laws of cause and effect do not apply?" Dilbert continues, "Logically, if we were good, we would generate good results." Sitting between the Wally and Alice, Dilbert continues, "Is it not more likely that we are pathetic losers who get exactly what we deserve?" The CEO says, "Yes, individually you're all losers. But together we're a great company. Thanks to my leadership." Wally says, "I feel like squirming but I don't have the energy."
Friday September 29,
2000
Tags huge demand, laugh at yourself, employes
Transcript
The Boss puts his hand on Ted's back and says, "Ted, there's a huege demand for employees like you." The Boss continues, "Not you specifically...which is funny if you think about it." The Boss calls after him as he walks away, "Hey, if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?"
Saturday September 23,
2000
Tags key to success, really fast, speed, ok to fail
Transcript
Pointing to a picture of a man running, the Boss says to his staff "Speed is the key to success." Dilbert raises his hand and asks, "Is it okay to do things wrong if we're really fast?" The Boss answers, "Um...no." Wally says to Dilbert, "Now I'm all confused. Thank you very much."
Friday September 22,
2000
Tags doomed projects, fake mergencies, more efficient, unnecessary meetings, to do list
Transcript
Sitting at his computer, Dilbert thinks to himself "This to-do list will make me more efficient." Dilbert continues thinking to himself, "I have three fake emergencies, two doomed projects, four unnecessary meetings..." At home, Dilbert says to Dogbert "I figured out why you never ask me how my day day went." Dogbert replies, shooing Dilbert away with one hand, "Off you go."


