Sitting Comic Strips - Page 18
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457 Results for Sitting
View 171 - 180 results for sitting comic strips. Discover the best "Sitting" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday September 18,
2001
Tags job market, bad job market, how hard, unemployed, leader
Transcript
Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches from behind and asks, "How's the ol' job market lately? It's pretty bad, isn't it?" The Boss continues, "So no matter how hard I make you work it's still better than being unemployed." Dilbert turns in surprise. The Boss says, "Who's your leader? Go on, say it." Dilbert puts his head in his hands and replies quietly, "You are."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday September 13,
2001
Tags accounting system, dysfunctional, meaningless, payroll exppenses, zero, management genius
Transcript
Asok and Ed are sitting at a computer. Ed looks irritated. Asok says, "Your accounting system is so dysfunctional that the results are meaningless." Asok continues, "How is it possible that no one has noticed?" Ed replies, "I've always wondered about that." The Boss is sitting at his desk. He thinks to himself, "My payroll expenses are zero again. I'm a management genius."
Wednesday September 12,
2001
Tags crossgrain on accounting, system, lose respect, job security, whole job, accounts erceivable, not expense, no complaints
Transcript
The Boss has his arm around Asok. He says to Ed, "Ed, I want you to crosstrain Asok on the accounting system." The Boss continues, "And don't worry that you'll lost respect and job security if Asok learns your whole job in one day." Asok and Ed are sitting at a computer. Asok says, "I don't think 'Accounts Receivable' is an expense." Ed replies, "No one has complained yet."
Sunday September 09,
2001
Tags bet, billion to one, dance, immature, join pool, lottery pool, office pool, rational person, longshot
Transcript
Dilbert is sitting at his computer. Wally approaches from behind and asks, "Do you want to join the lottery pool?" Dilbert responds, "No." Dilbert continues, "No rational person would put money on a billion-to-one longshot." Wally says, "You will." Dilbert responds, "No, I won't." Wally says, "I'll bet a hundred dollars that you will." Dilbert responds, "You're on." Wally says, "If you don't join the pool, and we win, I will come to your putrid cubicle and do this dance." Dilbert watches as Wally snaps his fingers and sings, "Ay-yi-yi, hoo-wah-hoo! I'm filthy rich and you're a loser!" Dilbert leans back a bit as Wally leans forward and positions his rear end near Dilbert's face. Wally sings, "HOO-AH! HOO-AH!" Alice, Asok, and Wally convene in the hallway. Alice asks, "Who won the $100 Dilbert pool?" Wally responds, "Whoever picked thirty seconds."
Saturday September 08,
2001
Tags learn take risks, quitting company, someplace better, understand
Transcript
Alice is sitting at The Boss' desk. The Boss says, "Alice, you have to learn how to take risks." Alice replies, "You mean like quitting this putrid company and going to work someplace better?" The Boss asks Catbert, "Why doesn't anyone understand anything I say?" Catbert responds, "Three o'clock."
Thursday September 06,
2001
Tags broken keyboard, five asterisks, passwords, types asterrisk, tech support
Transcript
The Boss is sitting at his computer. He says into the telephone, "My keyboard is broken. It only types asterisks for passwords." Headline: Dogbert's Tech Support. On the other end of the line, Dogbert replies, "Try changing your password to five asterisks." The Boss says to himself, "I hope I can remember it."
Wednesday September 05,
2001
Tags no problems, week, issues, opportunites, challenges, valuable learning experinces
Transcript
The Boss, Wally, and Dilbert are sitting at a conference table. Wally says to The Boss, "I'm pleased to report that I had no problems this week." Wally continues, "I only had issues, opportunities, challenges, and valuable learning experiences." The Boss replies, "Did you do any work?" Wally responds, "It didn't seem necessary."
Sunday September 02,
2001
Tags new sales manager, pig boy, makes inappropriate comments, employment screening process, inappropriate comments, swear, date one eyed carpenter
Transcript
Alice is sitting at her desk. The Boss approaches from behind and says, "Alice, meet our new sales manager." Alice stands up. The Pigboy enters and stands next to The Boss. The Boss says, "He's a Pigboy who makes inappropriate comments every five minutes." The Boss turns to the Pigboy and says, "Somehow he slipped through our rigorous employment screening process." The Boss looks at his watch and says, "Whoa! His five minutes are up." The Pigboy starts, "So Alice..." Blocking the rest of the Pigboy's comment is "Inappropriate Comment Deleted." The Boss is chuckling. Alice says, "That was very clever. Now let me try one." Alice's pushes The Boss out of the way and screams profanity at the Pigboy. Her comment is also blocked by, "Inappropriate Comment Deleted." The Pigboy's head has exploded. Visibly frazzled, The Boss turns to Alice and asks, "How did you learn to swear like that?" Alice responds, "I used to date a one-eyed carpenter."
Thursday August 30,
2001
Tags all night, comp day, security video, pile of debris, cucbicle, conversation, jumping all over
Transcript
The Boss is sitting at his desk. Wally enters and says, "I was here all night. Is it okay if I take tomorrow as a comp day?" The Boss replies, "According to our security video, you slept all night on a pile of debris in your cubicle." Wally replies, "Is it just me or is this conversation jumping all over the place?"
Wednesday August 29,
2001
Tags dunking tank, united charity day, bonk, lines, wait in lines
Transcript
The Boss is sitting next to Alice and Dilbert. The Boss announces, "I've agreed to be in the dunking tank for this year's United Charity Day." Carol comes up behind them and throws a ball at The Boss, hitting him on the head. "Bonk!!" Alice and Dilbert look down. The Boss has flipped upside down and fallen under the table. Carol says calmly, "I don't like lines."

