Using You Comic Strips - Page 18

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

252 Results for Using You

View 171 - 180 results for using you comic strips. Discover the best "Using You" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cynics annoymous, #naive sense, #trust, #paid dues, #beer, #gambling cruis

View Transcript

Transcript

CYNICS ANONYMOUS Dilbert: My company sent me here to ref=gain my naive sense of trust. All in favor of using Dilberts company paid dues on beer say aye. Make sure you sign up for our gambling cruise.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #detect trends, #act accordingly, #not having strategy, #make itself

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted is giving a presentation using slides and a pointer. He points to the slide which has an arrow pointing to a spot and says: "Our strategy is to detect any trends and react accordingly." Asok, Wally and Dilbert are sitting at a table with sheets of paper in front of them. Dilbert says: "Isn't that exactly the same as not having a strategy?" Ted answers: "Hey, this slide didn't make itself."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #observe vp, #duck blind, #cubicle material, #subject flossing

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss and Asok are sitting and facing each other. The boss says: "Asok, I want you to observe our VP so we can figure out what our priorities are." The boss tells Asok :We've built a duck blind in his office using cubicle material." Asok is hiding in the duck blind covered with leaves at the top. The V.P. is at his desk flossing his teeth. Asok thinks: "10:28 A.M., the subject is flossing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dilbert and mother, #watching, #web cam, #not working hard, #fire wall, #using mail server

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting at his computer when the phone rings. Dilbert's mom is on the other end. She is sitting in a chair with an open laptop with Dilbert's face on the screen. She says, "I've been watching you through your web cam and I don't think you're working hard enough." (With the emphasis on "much"...) She says, "Well, there wasn't much of a fire wall. I'm using your mail server to spam my mahjongg club."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogbert consults, #teflon, #body, #shake well, #before using

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption "Dogbert Consults" Dogbert hands the boss a spray can. dogbert says, "Spray this Teflon on your body to better ignore the input of your subordinates." The boss sprays. The boss now has a pan for a head. Dogbert says, "Next time, shake well before useing." The boss says, "Who cares what you say?!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managing by analogies, #dogbert presents, #distribution problem, #eskimos, #gather ice, #lean summer months, #eat penguins, #hibachi, #ban for life

View Transcript

Transcript

Title reads: "Dogbert Presents." Dogbert stands in front a sign, reading "Managing by Analogies." He says, "It's easy!" The Boss and Dilbert at a table. The Boss says, "We'll solve our distribution problem the eskimo way." Dilbert responds, "Huh?" The Boss continues, "The eskimos gather ice all winter long." Then, "Later, during the lean summer months, the eskimos eat the ice they stored." The Boss adds, "We'll do the same thing." Dilbert explains, "But... the eskimos would starve if they only ate ice." The Boss says, "Maybe they eat penguins too. They're delicious." The Boss stands and adds, "Did you know the zoo can ban you for life if they catch you using a hibachi?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #use art, #find self, #over there, #ratbert, #bad painting, #without using art, #bob, #dinosaur

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert wears a Beret and paints. Ratbert says, to Bob, "I use art as a way of finding myself." Bob says, "you're over there, Ratbert, in front of a bad painting!" Bob walks away and thinks, "And I did it without using any art."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss acts bull, #fast, #pointy haired, #rodeo clown, #woo hoo, #taunts boss, #employee, #new hire

View Transcript

Transcript

The rodeo clown runs after the boss and says, "wah-wah! Woo-Woo!" The rodeo clown sticks his tongue out and waves his hands around. The boss snorts and charges like a bull, his hair like horns. The rodeo clown pulls himself out of the way using a cubicle wall. Wally and Dilbert watch over the walls of thier cubicle. Dilbert says, "Just as I suspected, the new guy is a rodeo clown." Wally says, "he's fast."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Cartoon, #shows cartoon, #boring presentation, #has no punchline

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert gives a presentation using an overhead projector. Dilbert says, "I'd like to start with a cartoon." Dilbert points at the projection and says, "It's about a guy who shows a cartoon before giving a boring presentation." Dilbert says, "But it doesn't work because the cartoon has no punchline."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #false humility, #week, #without using, #experience joy, #long week

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert eats chips at home. Dogbert says, "Do you think that I have too much false humility?" Dilbert says, "Try going a week withou using any false humilty, so I can see the differrnce" Dogbert wears a crown and stands over Dilber who lies under the covers in bed. Dogbert says, "Wake up, you piece of fetid carp, and experiance the joy of knowing Dogbert!!!" Dilbert thinks, "This could be a long week."