Waste Of Time Comic Strips - Page 18

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View 171 - 180 results for waste of time comic strips. Discover the best "Waste Of Time" comics from Dilbert.com.

New Website Developer

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New Website Developer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags web, internet, site, development, code, time, deadline, coding, technology

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Boss: Our website developer quit one week before the site was scheduled to be finished. But I hired a new one so we can finish on time. Dilbert: Apparently, you have never met a website developer before. Boss: So, you will be done in about a week, right? Developer: It will take me a month just to throw away the last guy's code.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags insult, meeting, tardiness, punctual, badmouth, business

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Dilbert: It seems that everyone but Ted made it to this meeting. If we proceed without Ted, our decisions will be underinformed. If we try to reschedule a meeting with all of us, we will miss the critical deadline. Thanks to Ted, we have two ways to lose and no way to win. I say we use this time to say bad things about Ted to make ourselves feel better. I'll start. Ted is a lazy, selfish loser, If I could travel through time, I would prevent Ted's parents from meeting. Don't look at me like I'm the one who came late.

Bribing Wally

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Bribing Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bribe, morals, laziness, work ethic

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Wally: I don't have time to help. Coworker: What if I bribe you to do your job? I am literally offering to give you my personal money to do the job your employer pays you to do. Wally: Are you willing to turn a blind eye to my total lack of effort, or should I find a better briber?

Meet At My Office

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Meet At My Office - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, schedule, time, wasting time, selfish, business

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Computer: Let's meet at my office on Friday. Dilbert: Sure. Or... you could waste your day traveling to my office instead. Computer: You're being a jerk. Dilbert: You started it.

Accused Of Forgery

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Accused Of Forgery - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags motivation, performance, forgery, pessimism, giving up, resistance

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Catbert: You stand accused of forging an expense approval from the head of Marketing. Your malfeasance caused the project to finish on time and under budget. Next time, just give up and lose hope like everyone else. Dilbert: Will do.

Electric Car Project

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Electric Car Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags manager, labor, time, time management, obliviousness

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Boss: Welcome to the first meeting of our project to design an electric car. We've never tried to build an electric car, but how hard could it be? Dilbert: It's very hard. Boss: It doesn't feel that way. My part is mostly talk.

Why Didn't You Tell Me Sooner

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Why Didn't You Tell Me Sooner - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags paradox, debate, arguing

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Alice: Why didn't you tell me about this sooner? Dilbert: That's a fool's game because Zeno's Paradox says there will always be a time sooner than the one I pick. Alice's Paradox says that no matter how many criticisms you explain away, there are always plenty more.

Tell Me What Was In The Email

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Tell Me What Was In The Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags email, laziness, attention, detail, tldr

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Boss: I don't have time to read your long email. Tell me what it said. Dilbert: I wrote a long email because a summary would be dangerously misleading. Boss: I'll be the judge of that. Dilbert: How?!!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags financial, jargon, money, accounting, language

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Boss: I think it is important for every employee to understand our company's income statement. I don't have time to get into all of the details, so I'll hit the high points. Compared to last year... our ebida have been amortized over an accrued market discount. Meanwhile, our capital account liabilities have a pass-through income that is far larger than our on-time costs. And the mome raths outgrabe. Too far? Dilbert: I wasn't listening.

Asok Learns To Rank Priorities

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Asok Learns To Rank Priorities - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags priorities, Advice, hate, misanthrope, misanthropy, organization

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Asok: I'm overworked because I don't know how to set priorities. Alice: Try ranking your tasks by how much you hate the people who asked for your help. Asok: What if I don't hate anyone? Alice: That problem solves itself over time.