2002 Comic Strips - Page 18
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Character
Sunday July 14,
2002
Tags be charming, more important, project thwarted, seriously hound her, unhelpful, woman, application, boss advice
Transcript
A woman says into the phone, "I'll get to your application as soon as I have nothing more important to do." Dilbert is on the other end of the line. He says, "Okay.. thank you very much." Dilbert hangs up the phone and thinks, "I just thanked someone for doing nothing." Dilbert enters The Boss' office and says, "My project is being thwarted by a woman who gets satisfaction from being unhelpful." The Boss responds, "Have you tried using your charm?" Dilbert says, "I guess I can try." The Boss replies, "Ha ha ha! Just kidding." The Boss says, "But seriously, try hounding her until she recoils in pain at the sound of your voice." Dilbert asks, "Will that work?" The Boss replies, "Sometimes the best you can do is make other people feel bad."
Saturday July 13,
2002
Tags refreshed, vacation for boss, calm and relaxed, burn clothes, wally sat in chair, cooty squad
Transcript
The Boss walks back into his office and thinks, "I'm refreshed from my vacation." The Boss sits in his chair and thinks, "I am calm and relaxed." Carol says, "Wally sat in your chair." The Boss' chair is being lifted out by members of the Cooty Squad. One of the Cooty Squad workers says to The Boss, "We'll have to burn your clothes too."
Friday July 12,
2002
Tags temporary boss, revamp, project staus, color codes, confess, only one idea, emabrrassing
Transcript
Wally addresses a meeting, "My first act as temporary boss is revamping our project status color codes." Wally points to a slide and says, "Red, yellow, and green will be replaced by white, off-white, and eggshell." Wally continues, "I have to confess, it was embarrassing to realize I only have one idea."
Thursday July 11,
2002
Tags sitting in, boss, walk around, avoid decisons, grossly underpaid, did before, more money
Transcript
Dilbert is sitting at his computer. Wally approaches. Dilbert asks, "How do you like sitting in for The Boss?" Wally responds, "It's easy." Wally continues, "All I do is walk around and make people loathe me while I avoid making decisions." Dilbert says, "That's all you ever did before." Wally replies, "Apparently, I was grossly underpaid."
Wednesday July 10,
2002
Tags filling in, pointy haired boss, carol is secretary, administrative assistant, name calling, arroagnt
Transcript
Wally says to Carol, "Carol, I'm filling in for the pointy-haired boss, so that makes you my secretary." Carol exclaims, "I am an administrative assistant, you stinkin' baboon!" Carol continues, "I will make you pay dearly for your arrogance!" Wally replies, "Could you put a head on this?"
Tuesday July 09,
2002
Tags boss on vacation, no chair sitting, vacation, in charge
Transcript
The Boss says to Wally, "Wally, it's your turn to be in charge while I'm on vacation." The Boss continues, "But whatever you do, do NOT sit in my chair. It wouldn't be right." Wally shakes his rear end in front of The Boss' chair and says, "Ooh-baby! you want some of this. Yes, you do."
Monday July 08,
2002
Tags african vacation, natures wonders, shoot, window of suv, monkey brains, flared nostrils
Transcript
The Boss addresses a meeting, "I'll be taking my vacation in Africa so I can enjoy nature's wonders." The Boss continues, "And shoot as much of it as possible from the window of an SUV." The Boss asks Wally, "Have you ever seen monkey brains?" Wally responds, "Once, when you flared your nostrils."
Sunday July 07,
2002
Tags ideas for boosting morale, employee pot luck, schedule conflcits, brings small meal, pviep
Transcript
The Boss addresses a meeting, "Does anyone have any ideas for boosting morale?" Wally raises his hand, "Oooh! Oooh! Oooh!" Wally says, "The employee potluck lunch that we had last year was almost perfect." Wally continues, "But we only had it once and some people had schedule conflicts." Wally continues, "I call my idea the 'Permanent Virtual Individual Employee Potluck' or P.V.I.E.P for short." Wally continues, "Every day, each employee brings a small meal in a bag and eats it whenever he gets hungry." The Boss says, "You already do that. " Wally replies, "And look how happy I am!" The Boss says, "Okay, who is going to organize the P.V.I.E.P.?" Wally responds, "Alice hasn't helped yet." Alice cringes in anger.
Saturday July 06,
2002
Tags budget, spend it, can't tell budget, whats company strategy
Transcript
A senior manager says to The Boss, "I can't tell you how much your budget is, because if I did, you'd try to spend all of it." The Boss asks, "Can you tell me when I'm over budget?" The senior manager replies, "No, because then you'd know what the budget is." The Boss asks, "Can you tell me what our company strategy is?" The senior manger replies, "Sure. It's... Ha ha ha! Just kidding."
Friday July 05,
2002
Tags improve morale, want drinking enough, coffee meetings, never leave table
Transcript
The Boss says to Wally, "I'm having these coffee meetings to find out how I can improve morale." Wally responds, "My only problem was that I wasn't drinking enough coffee with you. So now I'm good, thanks." Wally continues, "Promise me you'll never leave this table. I can't go back to the way things were."


