Confident Men Comic Strips - Page 18
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Alice: The men never invite me to after-work activities. Catbert: We'll need to find out if the problem is sexism or your personality.Alice: I decided not to dig into it. Boss: I think you'll be happy with your decision.
Dilbert: I never know the right time to high-five. I feel as if I should automatically know, like a male instinct. For example, when do you initiate a high-five and when do you simply yell "woo-hoo?" Those situations look the same to me. What's my problem? Alice: So many things. But in this specific case, the problem is your total lack of masculinity. Dilbert: High-five?
Dilbert: My date lasted 53 minutes. Dogbert: That's your longest yet. Was she trapped in any way, such as under rubble? Dilbert: Nope! Dogbert: Wow. How'd you do it? Dilbert: I didn't talk for the first 49 minutes.
Man: I'm a social justice warrior. That means I'm on our side. Do you want to go to dinner with me? Alice: No, thanks. I'm into men. Man: I am a man. Alice: Don't make me turn around and prove you wrong.
Alice: Do you ever think about marrying me and raising a family of cyborgs? Robot: No. Alice: I'll add some code to your program so you do. Robot: Okay. Alice: This was the moment I realized human men were obsolete.
Boss: Are you confident in your financial projections? Wally: They're directionally accurate. Boss: Your columns don't even add up. Wally: Why is it so hard for you to give a compliment?
Ned: They call me "Old Ned as if I haven't kept up with the times. But watch me tell you to fetch me some coffee from Starbucks just like the young folks do. Alice: I'm a senior software engineer. Ned: I'm not getting any less thirsty here.