Dogbert Comic Strips - Page 18

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Dogbert

View 171 - 180 results for dogbert comic strips. Discover the best "Dogbert" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags batteries, death, Dogbert, dreams, god, himself, new, sense of humor, Dilbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert enters wearing a bathrobe and shines a flashlight on the chair where Dogbert is sleeping. Dogbert says in his sleep, "I'm coming toward the light . . ." Dogbert continues, "The light . . . It's so pure . . . So perfect . . . It could only be the light of GOD HIMSELF!!" Dilbert says, "No. Just new batteries." Dogbert says, "God has a sense of humor? Of course! It explains everything."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, dreamed, died, light, god, ark, comment, incident, armchair

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert covers his eyes with his paws and says, "I'm so embarrassed . . . I dreamed I died and saw the light of God . . ." Dogbert says to Dilbert who is wearing a bathrobe and holding a flashlight, "I trust you will just let this incident pass without comment." Dilbert says, "I command you to build an ark . . ." Dogbert growls.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sonic, obliterator, buffalo, buffaloes, application, Dilbert, Dogbert, nanosecond

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk holding a device that looks like a gun. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "This could be my most important technical achievement yet. I'll call it the 'Sonic Obliterator.' Hmm . . . Catchy." Dilbert explains, "This baby can blast a buffalo into random particles in about half a nanosecond." Dilbert continues, "Of course, it might have limited application around the house." Dogbert says, "At least the buffalos will show us some respect."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, sonic, obliterator, invention, hair, trigger, office, truck, yard, Dilbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk holding his invention. Dogbert asks, "May I play with your 'Sonic Obliterator' invention?" Dilbert answers, "Sure." Dilbert says, "Just be careful. It has a hair trigger and can blow a truck to bits." Dogbert says, "Neat!" Dilbert turns toward the reader and says, "You have to show them that you trust them." Dogbert says, "I'll be down at the post office truck yard."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, dilbert's, invention, blow, empty, mail, truck, sneezing, stranger

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands outside the post office truck yard holding the Sonic Obliterator. Dogbert says, "On one hand, I know it's wrong to use Dilbert's invention to blow up these empty mail trucks." Dogbert says, "On the other paw, this is gonna be more fun than sneezing on strangers." Dogbert continues, "It's a moral dilemma . . . But I like to think that difficult choices like this build character." Dogbert presses the trigger.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, pursued, police, fbi, national guard, obliterator

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Just great . . . You've destroyed half of the city with my 'Sonic Obliterator' invention . . ." Dilbert continues, "You're being pursued by the police, FBI and National Guard . . . I TRUSTED you. Is there anything you'd like to say to me?" Dogbert replies, "Oh, yeah, thank you very much for letting me borrow the Obliterator . . . It's been great . . . Can I use it again tomorrow?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, dinosaur, disciplinarian, carnivorous, resume

View Transcript

Transcript

Bob the Dinosaur reads the newspaper and says to Dogbert, "Here's a 'help wanted' ad for a babysitter." Bob says, "I could do that. Kids love dinosaurs." Dogbert says, "One problem." Dogbert explains, "Your species of know to be carnivorous." Bob replies, "I'll put 'strict disciplinarian' on my resume."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, good, news, corners, doctors, vet, better, scared, boo

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on his pillow humming. Dilbert sneaks up behind Dogbert and says, "Boo!" Dogbert's ears fly up and he says, "Eeek!" Dogbert sits on an examining table with his ears still standing straight up. The doctor says, "The good news is you'll handle better on corners . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, ears, return, romal, forgive, scaring, yesterday, revenge

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert drives his car and Dogbert sits in the passenger seat. Dogbert's ears are standing straight up. Dilbert says, ". . . And the doctor says it's all in your mind." Dilbert and Dogbert walk into the house. Dilbert continues, "Your ears will return to normal when you forgive me for scaring you yesterday." Dogbert puts a lit firecracker next to Dilbert's bed while he is sleeping. Dogbert says as he leaves the room, "Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, boss, supervise, department, secretary, gibberish

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My boss asked me to supervise the department secretary. I don't really know how to manage people... Dogbert: Try positive reinforcement. Praise the things he does right. Trust him to make the right choices. Man: I forgot to write down your messages, so I just put a bunch of gibberish on little pieces of paper.