Engineers Wuit Comic Strips - Page 18

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212 Results for Engineers Wuit

View 171 - 180 results for engineers wuit comic strips. Discover the best "Engineers Wuit" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 2007's comic on:


Tags #charge less, #enginners, #honesty, #stop, #brilliant suggestion

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The boss: Explain why you charge less of your time to projects than all the other engineers. Dilbert: "I'm trying something new. It's called honesty." The Boss: "Stop doing that." Dilbert: "Okay brilliant suggestion."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 2004's comic on:


Tags #vp of marketing, #new version of prodcut, #testamnet, #customers, #new version, #raw data, #customers hate us

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As Vp of marketing, I am proud to introduce the new version of our product. Behold!! This sia testament to what can happen when you listen to customers. we asked customers what they wanted the new version to do. Six months ago I gave that raw data to you engineers. Today we see the result. Its the first time Ive seen it myself. whats it do? BAM!! Our customers said they hate us.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 2004's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #office, #name, #zinger, #introductions, #invisible, #resentful

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Why its great to be an engineer Hi Dilbert. Dilbert: Hi...there. He doesn't remember my name. Say it! Say my name! Hey dilbert. Now he'll be forced to introduce me, her- her. Alice: Am I interupting anything? dilbert: no Its awkward for you now. HA HA! squirm, you name forgetter. The pressure too introduce me must be killing you . HAHA! Dilbert: Do you have the new software specs? Alice: follow me. Alice: who was that guy? Dilbert: What guy?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 07, 2004's comic on:


Tags #slaes rep, #nice suit, #dilbert questioned, #well dressed engineer, #not redibilty, #reverse makeover, #consultant, #engineers are grungie, #business

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The boss: go with our sales rep and answer the customer's technical questions. whoa! you can't go looking like that. This is a nice suit, exactly, a well dressed engineer has no credicbility! I'll call my reverse make over consultant. Im bob the straight eye for the queer looking guy. Lets see...I'll give you my clothes ...add ear hair eye brow extensions, You seem highly credible and I don't know why. Genius.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 2003's comic on:


Tags #boss, #Dilbert, #dont idel well, #freaks out, #gets phone call, #lost connection, #meeting, #sit still challenge, #mind body connection, #business

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The Boss calls after Dilbert, "Dilbert, come here for a minute." The Boss and Dilbert are walking towards The Boss' desk. The Boss says, "I need to talk to you about..." He is interrupted by the ringing telephone. The Boss is on the telephone. He holds up his finger at Dilbert. Dilbert thinks, "He's giving me the 'wait' signal." Dilbert continues to think, "I have nothing to look at, nothing to fiddle with, nothing to do." Dilbert continues to think, "I'll try thinking about how my mind controls my muscles." Dilbert's arms start shaking. He thinks, "Uh-oh... I'm getting too conscious of my muscles and it's freaking me out." Dilbert falls back and exclaims, "Gaaa!!! I've lost my mind-body connection!!" Dilbert is on the floor with his feet up in the air. The Boss says into the phone, "The problem with my engineers is that they don't idle well."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 2000's comic on:


Tags #funny in purple, #important decsions, #missile defense networks, #naps, #french people, #touching with cigarette

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Dilbert enters the Boss' office and asks, "Is it okay if I take naps during the day?" Dilbert then asks, "Or would you prefer that I make important decisions while groggy and delusional?" Dilbert continues, "Either way is okay with me. It's your call." The Boss doesn't respond and Dilbert leaves his office thinking, "He looks funny all purple." Back at his desk and half asleep, Dilbert thinks to himself "Must...stay...awake. Make...important...decisions." Dilbert continues, "Must replace optical switches with dancing lemurs." The Boss stands behind Dilbert as he sleeps. Now in an obvious dream state, Dilbert yells in his sleep "Gaaa! French people are touching me with cigarettes!" The Boss leaves Dilbert's cubicle thinking, "I hope that's how engineers design missile defense networks."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 2013's comic on:


Tags #obliviousness, #office buildings, #work ethic, #prodcutivity, #cubicles, #one clown car

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Boss: Productivity went down when we moved the engineers from private offices to cubicles. Productivity went down again when we tried to open the office plan. CEO: Have we tried putting all of them in one clown car? Boss: No, but I don't see why that wouldn't work.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 2013's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #sales personnel, #offer discount, #chair, #runaway

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Salesman vs. Engineer Dilbert: Can you offer us a discount? Salesman: I had something like that in mind, except instead of giving a discount, I would hit you with a chair and run away. Dilbert: Please don't do that. Salesman: Okay, but I'll have to charge you extra.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 2013's comic on:


Tags #eating & drinking, #engineers, #etiquette & ethics, #crone, #etiquette class, #fork, #teach things

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Boss: I hired a desiccated crone to teach an etiquette class to you engineering heathens. She'll help you stop eating your business lunches like kidnap victims. Crone: When do you use this fork? Alice: When I'm too lazy to make a shiv?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 19, 2013's comic on:


Tags #dating, #engineers, #engineer, #excellent employment, #potential, #social skills, #relationships, #engineering

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Dilbert: Hi. I'm an engineer. That means I have excellent employment potential and I can fix things around the house. Woman: How are your social skills? Dilbert: Wow. Look who wants the moon.