Free Time Comic Strips - Page 18

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View 171 - 180 results for free time comic strips. Discover the best "Free Time" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 11, 2000's comic on:


Tags #company a, #dogbert consults, #free sample, #web strategy

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Dogbert the consultant says to the Boss, "Here's a free sample of my work." The Boss says to Dobgert as he reads the booklet, "So company 'A' was managed by idiots with no web strategy." The Boss asks Dogbert, "What would you recommend for my company?" Dogert replies, "First, change its name to 'A'.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 24, 2000's comic on:


Tags #part time work, #finish urgent projects, #pay cut, #come in on day off

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Noriko asks the Boss, "Would it be okay if I worked part-time?" The Boss answers, "That depends." The Boss continues, "Would you be willing to come in on your days off to finish urgent projects?" Noriko replies, "Yes." Dilbert asks Noriko during lunch, "So, basically you negotiated a fifty percent pay cut?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 25, 2000's comic on:


Tags #you're fired, #used internet, #personal reasons, #groceries, #more time working, #evil but true

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Catbert, sitting at his desk, says to an employee, "Our records show that you used the internet for personal reasons. You're fired." The employee says, "Please, I merely ordered groceries online so that I might have more time for working." Catbert says, "My motto is, you can't spell 'who cares?' without H.R." The employee says, "It's evil, but it's true."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 20, 2000's comic on:


Tags #internet music, #free, #digital tops, #here with engineers, #ideas, #applied to others

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Wally says to Alice and Dilbert, "All music on the internet should be free. Artists could make money from digital tips." Catbert says to Wally, "Great idea. We'll do the same thing here with the engineers." Wally says to Dilbert, "Have you ever noticed that my ideas are only brilliant when applied to other people?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 2000's comic on:


Tags #cross charge time, #attended meeting, #drunken moneky, #refund, #money back, #unfair preactices

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Dilbert says to a co-worker, "Why did you cross-charge your time to my budget?" The co-worker says, "I attended your meeting." Dilbert says to the co-worker, "All you did was sit there like a drunken monkey. I want a refund." The co-worker says, "Talk to my boss." Dilbert says to the woman who is his co-worker's boss, "... So it doesn't seem fair." The woman looks at her watch and says, "Ka-ching!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 2000's comic on:


Tags #free for lunch, #remind myself, #lucky, #laziness, #personality, #looks, #renaissance loser, #psychology

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Wally is reading the newspaper as Dilbert looks in Wally's cubicle and asks, "Wally, are you free for lunch?" Dilbert says to Wally, "I need to remind myself how lucky I am that I don't have your laziness or personality or looks." Wally asks Dilbert, "Would you say I'm kind of a Renaissance loser?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 1999's comic on:


Tags #how to book, #teach people, #winning lottery numbers, #find free real estate, #lose weight, #tubs of ice cream, #strong abs, #see angels, #near death experience, #get rid witnesses

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Dogbert sits at Dilberts computer. Dilbert stands in a robe with a cup of coffee. Dogbert says, "I'm writing a comprehensive "how to" book." Dogbert says, "In chapter one, I teach people how to pick winning lottery numbers." Dogbert says, "Chapter two: How to find free real estate in very nice neighborhoods." Dogbert says, "Chapter three: how to lose weight by eating huge tubs of ice cream." Dogbert says, "Chapter four: how to build strong abs by joining a gym and never going." Dogbert says, "Finally, how to see angels by giving yourself a near death experience." Dogbert says, "That last one is just to get rid of all the witnesses." Dilbert thinks, "On the plus side I don't feel so bad about not recycling."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 2001's comic on:


Tags #created software, #copyrighted work, #available, #for free, #plunge, #depression, #creativity, #psychology

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Asok the Intern says to Dilbert, "I created software that makes all copyrighted work on the net available for free!" Dilbert asks Asok, "Wouldn't that destroy all forms of creativity and plunge us into a depression?" Asok says to Dilbert, "Yes... But it is very neat."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 2001's comic on:


Tags #give away prodcut, #for free, #deinstall it, #bill customers, #consumer despaitations

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The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "My plan is to give away our product for free." The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "We'll only bill customers who ask us to deinstall it." Wally and Dilbert continue looking on impassively as The Boss continues, "For once, those reports of consumer decapitations will work in our favor."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 2001's comic on:


Tags #discount brokerage, #free dart board, #monkey, #drops below, #five hundred, #order money to kill, #strange techniques, #animals

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DISCOUNT BROKERAGE: Dogbert is in his office wearing a headset. He says, "When you open an account, you'll get a free dart board and a monkey." Dogbert continues, "If your balance drops below five hundred dollars, we'll order the monkey to kill you." Dogbert continues, "Well, think about it and get back to me."