Full Bio Comic Strips - Page 18
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176 Results for Full Bio
View 171 - 176 results for full bio comic strips. Discover the best "Full Bio" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday April 21,
2019
Never Ask About The Sigh
Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #relationships, #serial killer
Transcript
carol, asok and dilbert at a conference table. carol: sigh carol: sigh asok: what's wrong? dilbert distressed: gaaaa!!! never ask about the sigh! dilbert: it's a trap to make you listen to a distressing story full of woe. carol: my husband is a hunter and he wants me to learn how to skin and cook his kills. asok: that doesn't sound so bad. dilbert: wait for it. carol: he's a serial killer. dilbert: and there it is.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday October 17,
2019
Filled Bathtub To The Attic
Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #bathtub, #home, #weekend, #water, #attic, #chimney
Transcript
boss: i forgot i was filling my bathtub and went away for the weekend. now my house is full of water all the way to the attic. i don't know what to do. wally: try putting a hose in the chimney and sucking.
Sunday November 17,
2019
Dilbert Gets A Mentor
Tags #managers & supervisors, #Advice, #mentor, #productivity, #operations, #vice president, #pressure, #trick
Transcript
boss: i heard you asked our v.p. of operations to be your mentor. why didn't you tell me you needed some mentoring? i'm full of useful advice. dilbert: such as? boss: well... not you're putting me on the spot. it's hard to think of advice while you're pressuring me. maybe you could give me a scenario, and then i'll tell you what to do. dilbert: okay, suppose my boss is ruining my productivity by yammering about his great advice. what can i do? boss: that feels like a trick question. dilbert: our v.p. of operations could answer it.
Friday November 29,
2019
Mindless Tasks
Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #despondent, #tasks, #mindless
Transcript
dilbert thinking: looks like it will be another full day of interacting with people i wouldn't pull out of a burning car even if i were made of asbestos. my only hope is to stay busy doing mindless tasks. dilbert: do you have any mindless tasks for me? boss: take one from the top of the pile.
Wednesday May 27,
2020
Boss Is In A High Risk Group
Tags #criticism, #health & safety, #office workers, #sarcasm, #virus, #pandemic, #risk
Transcript
Carol: Are you worried about coronavirus because you're in a high-risk group? Boss: Why would I be in a high-risk group? Carol: Do you own a full-length mirror? Boss: No. They make me look fat.
Monday October 05,
2020
Astrology Filter
Tags #apathy, #Astrology, #business, #incoherent, #sense, #strategic, #technology
Transcript
dilbert looking at laptop: your strategic technology plan was incoherent. i had to run it through an astrology filter to make sense out of it. boss video conferencing: and? dilbert: it says you are "full of taurus" and your plan "is a cancer." boss: sounds right.