Garbage Man Comic Strips - Page 18
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1000 Results for Garbage Man
View 171 - 180 results for garbage man comic strips. Discover the best "Garbage Man" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday May 19,
2013
Tags work ethic, replacing system, outdated, gamification, hot new trend, employees wins, badges, ribbons, awrds, cash value, garbage, emotional value
Transcript
Boss: We're replacing our outdated system of annual performance reviews. The new system is called Gramification. It's a hot new trend. Employees can win badges, ribbons, and awards for completing tasks. Dilbert: Can we opt for the cash value of those badges, ribbons, and awards? Boss: They don't have any cash value. Dilbert: Oh. Like garbage? Boss: No, not like garbage! Except in the narrow sense of having no functional, economic, or emotional value. Garbage is something you throw away. Dilbert: Hand me an award and watch carefully.
Sunday May 26,
2013
Tags cheeseburger, dead man walking, deception, dried apricot, heart, inventions, medical diagnosis, program to hate, neutrino sensor
Transcript
Wally: I programmed our robot to make medical diagnoses. It can scan your body using its neutrino sensor. Robot, please demonstrate. Robot: Dead man walking! Boss: What? Robot: Your brain is the size of a dried apricot. Your heart is more cheeseburger than human tissue. You will be dead in eleven days, six hours, and nineteen minutes. Boss: Gaaa!!! Robot: Why did you program me to hate people? Wally: It was easier than inventing a neutrino sensor.
Thursday May 16,
2013
Tags complaining, honesty, managers & supervisors, worthless garbage, business
Transcript
Dilbert: If I complain about a co-worker, can you handle it discreetly and keep me out of it? Boss: Yes. Dilbert says you're a worthless piece of garbage. He guessed it was you.
Thursday July 18,
2013
Tags cancel service, deception, dogcart document, garbage trucks, service business, storage
Transcript
Boss: We've been using The Dogbert Offsite Document Storage Service for five years, and frankly, I'm concerned. Your service trucks look suspiciously like garbage trucks. I would cancel your service if I could find the contract. Dogbert: It's in "storage."
Thursday August 29,
2013
Tags coffee & tea, inventions, violence, garbage disposal, killed, murder, competetive
Transcript
Robot: Here is your coffee, as requested. Some guy tried to take the last cup, so I strangled him and put his remains down the garbage disposal. Wally: It's weird how that makes the coffee taste so much better.
Saturday August 13,
2016
Wally And The Lactation Room
Tags man cave, coffee, trick, lactation room
Transcript
Boss: Someone turned our lactation room into a personal man cave. Wally: That guy sounds awesome. Boss: The janitor found a recliner, a tv,and a coffee maker in there. So I asked myself who would put a coffee maker in a lactation room. Wally: I drink mine black.
Tuesday September 25,
2018
Work Is Dehumanizing
Tags the boss, man, workplace, dehumanizing, Environment, dignity, name
Transcript
Man: This workplace is dehumanizing! I can no longer work in this environment! I refuse to allow any more assaults on my dignity. I quit! The Boss: And your name is...?
Friday March 01,
2019
Being Like A Man
Tags advertising, business, criticism, men and women, relations between the sexes, sales
Transcript
Boss: Our new advertising campaign is "Don't be like men." The ad starts with a montage of bad male behavior, from mansplaining to genocide. Then we show our product. Alice: Did a woman come up with this campaign? Boss: Stop being like a man.
Wednesday April 22,
2020
Stress Can Kill You
Tags business, coronavirus, cortisol, dead man walking, depress, fear, immune, increase, scared, social distancing, system, virus, health
Transcript
dogbert: you have nothing to fear from the coronavirus but fear itself. obviously, the fear will increase your cortisol levels and depress your immune system so the virus can finish you off. dilbert visually shaken: now i'm scared. dogbert pointing: dead man walking!
Thursday September 24,
2020
Tina's Soul
Tags business, business ethics, laptop computer, project, team, lying, garbage, insult, soul, conscience, face mask
Transcript
tina tying on laptop computer: "no one on the project team could have foreseen that the problem that..." tina's soul: you are a lying piece of garbage. tina: who said that? tina's soul: it's your soul. we can't hang out anymore. tina: fine. you were slowing me down.

