Get To Hate Comic Strips - Page 18

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View 171 - 180 results for get to hate comic strips. Discover the best "Get To Hate" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Good news, Carol: The new office supply catalog is here!" "If you leaf through it and imagine that you can order things, you'll get a mild shopper's high." OFFICE "Now...I know how much you hate the phrase 'in lieu of a raise'..."

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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

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The director of marketing needs an engineering resource. "I'm giving you to him because I hate his stupid guts." "What did I do to deserve this?" "Sorry I'm late. I had to drown a burrito."

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"I got your overly brief e-mail, which obviously means you hate me and everything I stand for!" "I was in a hurry and didn't want to make you wait for a reply." "Well, okay, but I still have residual hatred that I'll need to transfer to some other aspect of your personality." "Fair enough."

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"Yes, do that right away." "Do what?" "Can I ignore e-mail from people who don't include my original message in their reply?" "Yes, and you can hate them, too." "90% of happiness is picking the right ethicist."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sales call, long distance, how long?, 50 miles long, don't know anyone

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The Boss' phone rings and he thinks to himself, "Again? That thing rang last week, too." A telephone company representative calls the Boss. "Hello. May I interest you in long distance phone service?" The Boss replies, "How long is it?" The telephone representative answers, "Umm...it's very long. Extremely long." The Boss replies in a demanding manner with one arm thrust in the air, "I need to know exactly how long it is!" The Boss continues to say, "If it's too short I'll have to shout the last mile! I hate that." The telephone respresentative replies, "Okay...it's fifty miles long." The Boss responds, "No, thanks. I don't know anyone fifty miles away."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags annoyance, engineers, loud howard, topper, hatred, passive aggressive

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Boss: I'm putting you on a project with Loud Howard, Topper and the new guy who loves the sound of his own voice. Dilbert: Is it because you hate me? Boss: Not at all. It's because I hate the other three guys.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, honesty, fester, hatred, pale doughy body, tree of knowledge, falls on head, die ironically

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Boss: Carol, if you have any issues, just be honest. Don't let anything fester. Carol: I hate every subatomic particle in your pale, doughy body. I hope the tree of knowledge falls on your head so you die ironically. Boss: I need to rethink my no-festering rule. Carol: Tree of knowledge... get it?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags costumes, halloween, angry cat, lederhosen, switched identity, joke, boss, hatred, holiday

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Dilbert: You both assured me that everyone would be wearing a costume to work today. I spent hours putting together my costume as an angry cat in lederhosen! I hate you both! Wally: Should we tell him? Alice: It's funnier if we don't.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ignorance (knowledge), managers & supervisors, employees, hatered, run over, clown, ugly truth, demise, bad wishes, business

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The Ugly Truth Visits Man: Your employees hate your carb-fattened guts. They hope you get run over by a clown car because it will make your demise extra funny. Boss: I hear mumbling but no on is there! Man: It's weird for me too.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hypocrisy, golden rule, test your rule, hypocrite, engineer, hatred, hypocricy, manipulate, engineering

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Boss: We can make this a great place to work by following the golden rule. Treat others as you would want them to treat you. Dilbert: That's dumb. Boss: It's not dumb! Dilbert: Let's test your rule. Would you like it if someone gave you a hundred dollars? Boss: Yes. Dilbert: Okay. So give me a hundred dollars. Or else forever live as a hypocrite who doesn't follow his own rule. Wally: Snork! Alice: Snork! Boss: I hate your engineering guts!!! Dilbert: At least you're making sense now.