Hate The Messenger Comic Strips - Page 18

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View 171 - 180 results for hate the messenger comic strips. Discover the best "Hate The Messenger" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #die die, #evil eye, #respect, #sat down wrong, #wedgie

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Tina: He doesn't respect my work. I can tell by the way he's sitting. "Two can play this game. I will hate you with the fury of a thousand suns!" "Die! Die! Die~" Dilbert: "Rats. I sat down wrong and gave myself a wedgie."

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Tags #landing, #hard landing, #no oparachute, #mud, #elbonia, #glasses, #suitcase, #jumped, #plane

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Wally: I hate landing in Elbonia. "Whump!!!" wally: "Hi. I'm from America and I'm hree to help."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #high crime area, #fiduciary, #misconducting, #cfo, #kicked, #beat up

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Alice: "I hate walking to work in this high-crime area." "Take this, you fiduciary misconducting *#@!%" "That was our C.E.O."<Br>"I know."

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Tags #forgetting things, #hospital, #odctors, #exam room, #monkeys brain, #replace brain, #medical

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"I keep forgetting where I put things." "The problem is that you're stupid." "I recommend replacing your brain with a monkey brain." "Will that help?" "No, I just hate monkeys."

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I need you to pick up Ted's function. "No problem. I have infinite capacity to do more work as long as you don't mind that my quality approaches zero." "Or are you asking me to do something that's logically impossible?" "I think I hate you."

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Your resume looks great. I see no reason you wouldn't be an excellent phone center employee. "Mwab blah glob wobmah tob muh wah wah." "This job got a lot less stressful once I realized I hate our customers."

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"Good news, Carol: The new office supply catalog is here!" "If you leaf through it and imagine that you can order things, you'll get a mild shopper's high." OFFICE "Now...I know how much you hate the phrase 'in lieu of a raise'..."

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The director of marketing needs an engineering resource. "I'm giving you to him because I hate his stupid guts." "What did I do to deserve this?" "Sorry I'm late. I had to drown a burrito."

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"I got your overly brief e-mail, which obviously means you hate me and everything I stand for!" "I was in a hurry and didn't want to make you wait for a reply." "Well, okay, but I still have residual hatred that I'll need to transfer to some other aspect of your personality." "Fair enough."

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"Yes, do that right away." "Do what?" "Can I ignore e-mail from people who don't include my original message in their reply?" "Yes, and you can hate them, too." "90% of happiness is picking the right ethicist."