Hire A Moron Comic Strips - Page 18
210 Results for Hire A Moron
View 171 - 180 results for hire a moron comic strips. Discover the best "Hire A Moron" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share June 01, 2013's comic on:
Interview at a start-up Interviewer: We only hire people who fit into our awesome start-up culture. Dilbert: No problem. I can be a self-conscious hipster if you think that's what keeps the lights on. Interviewer: I kind of do. Dilbert: What would I need besides an earring and headphones?
Share August 26, 2013's comic on:
Carol: It's the new guys first day and he's calling in sick. His message says he was putting on his shirt and got his head caught in an arm hole. Good hire. Boss: I had that same problem with my pants.
Share November 23, 2013's comic on:
Boss: A great leader hires good people and gives them the freedom to do their jobs. But I don't have the budget to hire good people, so I settle for micromanaging the half-wits I can afford. Catbert: Your boss was just in here saying the same thing.
Share March 27, 2014's comic on:
Consultant: All I do is travel, work, and eat unhealthy food. I'm a total failure at managing my own life, and yet people hire me for business advice. I haven't slept since October. Dilbert: I was told there would be PowerPoint slides. Consultant from Booze Muhkidney
Share August 24, 2014's comic on:
Boss; What programming skills should I be looking for in our next home? Dilbert: Jquery, ruby,HTML5, Python , Java , PHO and of course, C++ BOSS: Maybe you could wrote this down. Dilbert: Sure. That should totally solve your ignorance problem. Are there any other gaps in your knowledge that I can fix by writing things down? Dilbert: How about string theory? I can explain that in a few words. Graviton....supersymmetry....perturbation...M-theory. Boss: I know string theory now.
Share August 12, 2014's comic on:
Dilbert: The project I inherited has weak code. I need to rewrite it from scratch. Boss: Will there ever be an engineer who says, "That last guy did a great job. Let's keep all of it?" Dilbert: I'm hoping the idiot you hire to replace me says that.
Share October 01, 2014's comic on:
Boss: I can tell a lot from an applicant's storytelling skills. So tell me a story. Man: Last week, I broke into a morgue and took a selfie with a dead guy. But in my defense, I was super drunk. Boss: I hired a new salesperson.
Share November 15, 2014's comic on:
CEO: I hired a co-CEO, but it isn't working because we disagree on everything. We want to hire you as our third CEO so we always have a tiebreaker. Dogbert: I accept. The new guy and I have decided to fire you and split the CEO spot two ways.
Share December 25, 2014's comic on:
Boss: I only have enough in the budget to hire an employee who is incompetent half of the time. But if I don't use the budget, I will lose those funds next year. Employee: And I am proud to say that I'm 75% competent. Boss: I wish I could afford that.
Share January 30, 2015's comic on:
CEO: I bought a Russian military dolphin for a pet and it killed a party clown at my daughter's pool party. I need you to dispose of the body. Dogbert: The good news is that I'm an expert at getting rid of dead bodies. CEO: What's the bad news? Dogbert: Your dolphin hired me to kill you.