Humble Intern Comic Strips - Page 18

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214 Results for Humble Intern

View 171 - 180 results for humble intern comic strips. Discover the best "Humble Intern" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 08, 2009's comic on:


Tags #guilt, #excuse, #lie, #work, #avoiding, #acting

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Wally says, "The successful work - avoider combines a fake eagerness to help with just a hint of likely failure." Man says, "Wally, I need load calcs in an hour." Wally says, "No problem! Unless my computer keeps crashing like it did all morning." Man says, "I'll ask someone else." Wally says, "I am begging you to let me help!" Asok thinks, "Wow!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #rating, #performance, #reviews, #attributes, #explaining, #ridiculous, #business

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The Boss says, "We have new software for performance reviews." The boss says, "It has a category for everything." The boss says. "Fish-faced nincompoop! Bingo!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 29, 2009's comic on:


Tags #orders, #demands, #work, #ridiculous, #confused

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The Boss says, "Asok, rummage through the piles on my desk and find yourself something to do." The boss says, "Afterward, chastise yourself for not doing it the way I would have." Asok says, "Even if you would have done it wrong?" The boss, "Especially then. No one likes a show-off."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 24, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #discussion, #news, #angry, #ridicule, #joke, #humor, #business

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The Boss says, "From now on, we will refer to all of our problems as opportunities." Carol says, "One of your idiot spawn was playing with the oven and burned down your house." Wally says, "Camping opportunity?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 2009's comic on:


Tags #assignment, #plan, #inefficiency, #ridicule, #Advice

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the Boss says, "Asok, I'm putting you in charge of pandemic contingency planning." The Boss says, "Calculate the impact on our business if 50% of our employees are unable to be productive." Asok says, "That's twice as good as we're doing now." The Boss says, "Just make some slides that say it would be bad."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 26, 2009's comic on:


Tags #presentation, #pandemic, #illess, #punching, #scared, #reassurance

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Pandemic Planning Asok says, "In the worst-case scenario, the only survivors would be cockroaches and Alice." Pow! Pow! Pow! Alice says, "Airborne virus. It's safe now. I broke it's proteing coat."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 2009's comic on:


Tags #asking, #bonus, #project, #explaining, #pandemic

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Asok says, "If I do a great job with the pandemic contingency planning, can I have a bonus?" The Boss says, "I won't know if you did a great job unless we actually have a pandemic emergency." Asok says, "So?if there is a pandemic, I might get a bonus?" The boss says, "I don't like where this is heading."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 02, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #meeting, #drugs, #medicing, #explaining, #screaming, #scared, #stupidity, #suggestion, #business

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Man says, "My prescription meds cause drowsiness." Man says, "So I got a second prescription that causes phantom-hand syndrome to slap me at random intervals." Alice says, "Maybe you should use a doctor who has less-effective pharmaceutical reps in his territory." Man says, "Fist!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2009's comic on:


Tags #ridicule, #age, #generation, #blame, #prediction, #criticism, #angry, #annoyed

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Asok says, "Your age group has destroyed the hopes of my entire generation." Asok says, "Your parents were the so-called 'Greatest generation.' I wonder what your age group will be known as." Asok says, "I'll bet it includes the word 'Bag.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #meeting, #training, #raising hand, #firing, #confused, #surprised, #business

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The Boss says, "Who needs training to keep up with technology trends?" Ted says, "Me." The Boss says, "You're fired. I only want people who already know how to do their jobs." Ted says, "I did not see that coming." Wally says, "They don't have a class to fix that."