Manage Data Comic Strips - Page 18
247 Results for Manage Data
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The highly productive but useless guy Heres a copy of my white paper. Its a statistical analysis of the correlation between disk storage and employee absenteeism. I oddment know how to do statistics but ut doesn't matter because I didn't have data.
Elbonian hackers are trying to steal our source code. "Send our goons to beat them up." "I was thinking more along the lines of improving our data security." "Improve it or else I'll have our goons beat you up." "This is surprisingly motivational." "Youse call dat a firewall?"
"Oh great Wizard of Landfill, can you show me how to go home?...Also, my pals need experience and ambition." "You're here because you ran out of good ideas...Here are a few gems about the idiots who manage my company." "There's no place like my home office...There's no place like my home office..." "He was creepy."
"Get the user data from Ed." "That's impossible." "Ed is an unreachable. He doesn't answer his phone or return messages. He's never in his cubicle and he doesn't read e-mail." "Does he use the restroom?" "No, we think he modified his briefcase."
Dogbert consults "You need a dashboard application to track your key metrics." "That way you'll have more data to ignore when you make your decisions based on company politics." "Will the data be accurate?" "Okay, let's pretend that matters."
I can monitor the company's key metrics from my executive dashboard. "Uh-oh. I need to do a better job of falsifying my data." "Allow me to set the stage for your next assignment by reminding you that stockholders have never done anything for you."
Boss: I've been so busy lately that I haven't had time to manage you. It must have been a nightmare for all of you to be without my leadership for so long. Alice: This might be a good tome to lead us to the next topic on the agenda.