Money Comic Strips - Page 18

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595 Results for Money

View 171 - 180 results for money comic strips. Discover the best "Money" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 2009's comic on:


Tags #money, #happy, #bragging, #angry, #economy, #value

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Carol says, "I live in a rented trailer, and all of my money is in my checking account." Carol says, "Your investments are worthless and your mortgage is underwater. My net worth is higher than yours now." Carol says, "I guess promiscuity and a G.E.D. was a pretty good strategy for me after all."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 05, 2009's comic on:


Tags #computer, #sitting, #asking, #money, #present, #punch, #violence, #pain, #flying, #technology

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Asok says, "I'm collecting money for our pointy-haired boss' birthday." Punch! The boss says, "How much did we get so far?" Asok says, "Well, nothing you could send by FedEx."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 2009's comic on:


Tags #bragging, #saving, #money, #talking, #ridiculous

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Topper Dilbert says, "I'm painting my own house to save money." Topper says, "That's nothing!" Topper says, "I had spider glands trasplanted into my body so I can make my own silk garments." Dilbert says, "That doesn't seem?" Topper says, "Who wants mittens?!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #lunch, #investing, #money, #crime, #trick

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Wally says, "I retired from my life of corporate crime and put all of my illicit earnings in a mutual fund." Dilbert says, "How do you know the mutual fund is legitimate?" Wally says, "What?" The boss says, "We got all of the money back?" Dogbert says, "We?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 08, 2009's comic on:


Tags #collecting, #money, #birthday, #angry, #ridiculous

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Man says, "I'm collecting money for Scott's birthday present." Dilbert says, "You're Scott." Man says, "So? Is there some sort of rule against collecting money for your own birthday?" Dilbert says, "Well?no." Man says, "I'm buying myself some paper towels and cereal." Dilbert says, "Stop making it worse!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 2009's comic on:


Tags #evil, #mean, #cruel, #meeting, #money, #business

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert says, "You shouldn't come to work just for money." Catbert says, "You should come to work to avoid not having any money." Wally says, "I'm only in it for these meetings." Catbert says, "Settle down, baldy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 2008's comic on:


Tags #eliminate bonuses, #savings used, #fun loving executives, #wear festive costumes, #sound of no money, #ceo's yacht, #whale oil, #bring harpoon, #happy about underpay

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The Boss says, "Our CEO decided to eliminated employee bonuses." The Boss says, "The savings will be used to produce an in-house movie to inspire you." Dilbert says, "Inspire us to do what?" The Boss says, "For starters, we'd like you to be happy about being underpaid." The Boss says, "Our fun-loving executives will wear festive costumes and sing about the virtues of poverty." The Boss says, "The movie is called 'The Sounds of No Money.'" The Boss says, "The premiere is on our CEO's yacht. He wants all of you to be there." Asok says, "We're invited to his yacht?" The Boss says, "The yacht runs on whale oil, so bring a harpoon."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 2008's comic on:


Tags #users want, #supply and emnad, #idiot, #managing, #work harder, #earn less money, #fire me, #obvious things

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The Boss says, "Find out what the users want before your build it." Dilbert says, "Why are you explaining my job to me as if I'm an idiot?" The Boss says, "It's called managing." The Boss says, "I assume you're dumb because you work harder than I do and earn less money." The Boss says, "And my boss would fire me if I just sat in my office and did nothing." The Boss says, "So I wander around and say obvious thing to you idiots until quitting time." The Boss says, "Then I go home and eat until my underpants don't fit." The Boss says, "Thanks for asking."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 2009's comic on:


Tags #money, #investing, #con, #violence, #lying

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Man says, "I'm thinking of investing in the Dogbert hedge fund." Man says, "Can you explain how it works?" Dogbert says, "It's simple I take your money and then use math to turn it into my money while destroying the overall economy." Man says, "Is that legal?" Dogbert says, "More so than you'd think." Man says, "What's in it for me?" Dogbert says, "My inflated claims will give you false hope." Dogbert says, "That way you won't stress out until after you retire and discover you're penniless." Man says, "But I..." Bonk! Ugh! Man says, "I don't remember the last five minutes." Dogbert says, "I was telling you that my hedge fund will earn you 520% per year."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 2009's comic on:


Tags #budget, #planning, #Advice, #money, #rant, #ignoring, #thinking

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The boss says, "How much will it cost to develop our next generation product?" Dilbert says, "It will cost whatever you put in the budget." The boss says, "How much should I put in the budget?" Dilbert says, "Ask for the biggest number you think will get approved." Dilbert says, "If we get a lot of money we can build something great." Dilbert says, "If we don't get much money we can build something lame, and compensate for the lack of quality by lying more vigorously than usual." The boss says, "I'll aim low so I don't get yelled at during the executive budget meeting." Dilbert thinks, "I remember the time when this sort of thing would haunt me."