Needs Approval Comic Strips - Page 18
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191 Results for Needs Approval
View 171 - 180 results for needs approval comic strips. Discover the best "Needs Approval" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday November 03,
2016
Wally Gives Approval
Tags #laziness, #signature, #ignorance, #reading, #fine print
Transcript
Dilbert: I need everyone's buy-in on this. Wally: Do I have to read it? Dilbert: No. Wally: That's the sort of idea I can get behind.
Friday December 30,
2016
Boss Doesn't See Email
Tags #space, #astronaut, #engineering, #laziness, #bureaucracy, #accident
Transcript
Boss: The crew of our first spaceship suffocated on the launchpad. Apparently, I got an email last week asking for approval to repair the oxygen generator. Carol: You killed them with your incompetence? Boss: I can't take all the credit. It was a team effort.
Thursday January 05,
2017
Boss Needs One Minute
Tags #attention, #developer, #distraction, #frustration
Transcript
Boss: Do you have a minute? Dilbert: Yes. But I don't have the fifteen minutes it will take me to get back into the coding "zone" after your interruption. Boss: I only need one minute. Dilbert: What planet are you from?
Tuesday March 21,
2017
Wally Presents His Invention To The Ceo
Tags #invention, #heat, #charger, #phone, #coffee
Transcript
Wally: I invented a phone charger that uses its excess heat to keep your coffee warm. CEO: No one needs that. Wally: Hold that thought. CEO: Oh, heck. Wally: It sells itself.
Friday October 13,
2017
Being Ineffective
Tags #negotiating, #haggle, #training, #conference, #skills
Transcript
Boss: Why are we paying so much for this software? Dilbert: Because you didn't let me take a class on negotiating like I asked. Boss: Are you using this as leverage to get approval for the class? Dilbert: No, I'm just being ineffective. Does it look the same?
Monday October 09,
2017
Dilbert Wants To Take A Class In Negotiating
Tags #negotiating, #catch-22, #conference, #training
Transcript
Dilbert: I need your approval to take a class on negotiating. Boss: See if you can persuade me to approve it. Dilbert: I... don't know how to negotiate yet. Boss: That's the flaw in your plan.
Thursday December 21,
2017
Dopamine
Tags #technology, #addiction, #dopamine, #prescription, #drugs
Transcript
Dilbert: Why do I need a prescription from a doctor to make a drug that boosts my dopamine... but I don't need a doctor's approval to use an app that is designed to do the same thing? Are you ignoring me and playing with your phone? Dogbert: I wasn't getting any dopamine from listening to you.
Tuesday March 06,
2018
When Clarity Is Not Your Friend
Tags #language, #jargon, #communication
Transcript
Boss: Your project summary needs mare jargon and acronyms. The goal is to make ourselves look smart while making the readers feel dumb. Dilbert: What about clarity? Boss: Clarity is not our friend on this one.
Thursday May 17,
2018
Conditions For Wally To Be On The Team
Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #excuses
Transcript
Wally: My boss gave me approval to join your project team under the condition I don't take on any extra work. Woman: The whole point of being on the project is to do extra work. Maybe I should talk to your boss. Wally: His other condition is that you never contact him.
Sunday June 03,
2018
Tags #work ethic, #productivity, #progress, #project, #deception
Transcript
Asok: I finished my project! Dilbert: Shhhh! Don't let anyone hear you say that. Only one of two things can come of it. Either you'll get more work or you'll get fired for not having enough work. Asok: Then how does anyone ever finish a project around here? Wally: We don't. We manipulate our boss into adding features so our projects are never complete. Asok: Is that hard to do? Dilbert: Not as hard as you might hope. Asok: How do you like the prototype so far? Boss: It needs a red button and some cooling fins.