Payroll Expenses Low Comic Strips - Page 18

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View 171 - 180 results for payroll expenses low comic strips. Discover the best "Payroll Expenses Low" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #habitual liar, #skull, #talking skull, #running marathin, #genie in bottle

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Habitual Liar: Alice: Are you sticking with you story that you're still alive?" Liar: "I feel terrific!" "I'm running a marathon later today." Low Priced Cremations While You Wait "I'm a gennie in a bottle! Make a wish!" Alice: "GAAA!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #share cubicle, #outrageous, #fight, #board of directors, #importance of teamwork

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The Boss: "Dilbert, we're low on space. You'll have to share your cubicle." Dilbert: "This is outrageous! I will fight this all the way to the board of directors!" share cubicle,"Hola. My name is Lola." "But then I remembered the importance of teamwork."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accounting depot, #travlke expeses, #copies of receipts, #need originals

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The Accounting Department "I can't process your travel expenses because you sent me copies of receipt. I need the originals." "I'm busy. Just fax them."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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I found a family of squirrels living inside our legacy system. "They control our payroll database. They're making demands." "Leave the acorns and no one will get their deductions increased."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #astroid intercept missle, #fate of earth, #scientific equipment, #united nations, #science

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Boss: Good news! We were the low bidder for The United Nation's asteroid intercept missile. The fate of Earth depends on your combined talents plus my management skills. Wally, you're in charge of fissile material, which I assume is a type of soda.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #less air conditoning, #shorts allowed, #compensation, #upadte shorts wardrobe, #lederhosen

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The Boss says, "The company will be using less air conditioning to reduce expenses." The Boss says, "To compensate, we're loosening up on the dress code. Shorts will now be allowed." Wally says, "I'm not going to update my shorts wardrobe until I know this will last."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job interview, #master plan, #identity theft, #look-alikes

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Wally says, "If I hire you, you'll get minimum wage to attend meetings and pretend you're me." Wally says, "My plan is to get hired for several jobs and replace myself with low-paid look-alikes in each one." Man says, "My plan is to bury you in a shallow grave and assume your identity." Wally says, "You don't interview well."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #confession, #schedule, #calendar, #lazy, #self-esteem, #annoyed

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Carol says, "For the past five years I've managed your calendar based solely on what would create the least work for me." Carol says, "It all started when you told me to use my judgment to set priorities." Carol says, "In retrospect, you should have hired someone with low self-esteem."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #selfishness, #rudeness, #sales, #internet, #confusion, #sabotage, #business, #technology

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The lucky sales guy man says, "My sales quotas were set too low. I plan to buy a yacht with my commissions." man says, "Would you mind programming the navigation system so I can get drunk while my boat takes me places?" Asok says, "Why are you researching where all the pirates attack?" Dilbert says, "It's better if you don't know."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #negotiations, #unfair, #greed, #money

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Dogbert the CEO man says, "The union will agree to deep cuts if you agree to work for one dollar per year." Dogbert says, "I agree, as long as I get my pay in advance and the mandatory retirement age is waived." Man says, "Fine." Dogbert says, "Call payroll and tell them to cut a check for my next ten billion years of service."