Peer Performance Comic Strips - Page 18

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189 Results for Peer Performance

View 171 - 180 results for peer performance comic strips. Discover the best "Peer Performance" comics from Dilbert.com.

Tell Everyone You Are Writing A Novel

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 Tell Everyone You Are Writing A Novel - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #writer, #reputation, #writing, #novel, #peer pressure, #motivation, #frustration, #writers block

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Dilbert: I'm telling everyone I'm writing a novel. That way I can leverage the invisible hand of social influence to motivate me for the next year. Alice: Have you written anything yet? Dilbert: Stop badgering me!!!

The Cause Of Human Motivation

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The Cause Of Human Motivation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #motivation, #cause and effect, #trick, #deception, #logic, #laziness, #work ethic

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Wally: Do you believe human motivation is the product of a person's genes or the environment? Boss: Both. Duh. Anyway, I asked you here to discuss your terrible job performance. Wally: We just did. You said it isn't my fault.

Bring Me Solutions

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Bring Me Solutions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #managers, #useless, #double standard, #guest artist, #donna oatney

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Boss: Don't bring me problems. Bring me solutions! Dilbert: That would make you more useless than you already are. Boss: I also need you to fill out your own performance evaluation.

Being More Honest

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Being More Honest - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marketing, #advertising, #honesty, #cover-up, #performance, #shortcoming, #business

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Dilbert: My tests show we underperform our competition on nine out of eleven dimensions. Boss: Give the two good ones to Marketing. We can't be more honest than that. Dilbert: I'm almost certain we can. Boss: No, we really can't.

Entitled Employee Buys A Car

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Entitled Employee Buys A Car - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #entitled, #entitlement, #millennials, #work ethic, #lazy, #consumerism

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The Entitled Employee. Man: I need a raise because I bought a luxury car. Boss: Your pay is based on your performance, not your personal expenses. Man: You leave me no choice but to keep the car and not pay for it. Boss: Tell them you deserve it.

A System For Transferring Mistakes

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A System For Transferring Mistakes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blame, #mistake, #boss, #review, #human resources, #revenge, #business

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Boss: Make sure we get all of the cost savings that our vendor promised with our new software. Dilbert: Those savings are not real. The vendor lied to you because you know nothing about technology. Boss: If only I had some way to turn my mistake into his mistake. Catbert: It's called a performance review.

The Dogbertium Particle

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The Dogbertium Particle - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #science, #accusation, #questioning, #discovery, #accusing

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Dogbert: I wrote a paper about my discovery of the "Dogbertium Particle" and submitted it for peer review. Luckily, most of my peers are made of pure Dogbertium, which means they are easy to bribe. Dilbert: Bribe? Dogbert: Do you have a problem with that, or are you anti-science?

Accused Of Forgery

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Accused Of Forgery - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #motivation, #performance, #forgery, #pessimism, #giving up, #resistance

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Catbert: You stand accused of forging an expense approval from the head of Marketing. Your malfeasance caused the project to finish on time and under budget. Next time, just give up and lose hope like everyone else. Dilbert: Will do.

Tina's Soul Will Live On

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Tina's Soul Will Live On - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reincarnation, #afterlife, #faith, #soul

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Tina: I hate my job, but I'm looking forward to my afterlife. Dilbert: Are you hearing good things about decomposing? Tina: My soul will live forever. Wally: Good luck. I lost mine at my first performance review.

Acting Interested In Dilbert

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Acting Interested In Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers, #relationships, #human, #humanity, #productivity, #motivation

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Boss: I'm supposed to act interested in your well-being to boost your job performance. Dilbert: No thanks. Boss: So... how's your wife, or girlfriend, or same-sex partner, or loneliness? Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Okay, I think that covers it. Dilbert: Look! My productivity is soaring!