Personal Business Comic Strips - Page 18

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Personal Business

View 171 - 180 results for personal business comic strips. Discover the best "Personal Business" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #consulting firm, #fixing business strategies, #own industry, #doing bad, #never mention

View Transcript

Transcript

Consultant: My consulting firm specializes in fixing business strategies. Dilbert: Have you ever figured out why your own industry is in the toilet? Consultant: I'll give you a thousand dollars never to mention that again.

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #status reprrts, #costs of projects, #business plan, #budget, #throw on pile

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: "Lately I am overcome with doubt that you read my status reports." The Boss: "Asok, the biggest value of a status report is that it makes you consider all the costs of your project." Assok: "Actually, that is the biggest value of a business plan or a budget." The Boss: "Whatever. Throw it on the pile."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #party, #phone number, #information, #email, #voicemail, #home phone, #offcie, #work email, #personal website, #too much info, #skeleton, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

"I've never done this before, but may I have your phone number?" "Home phone.. cell phone.. work phone.. home e-mail.... personal web site." "...And if that fax machine is out of paper, try the one down the hall, but leave me a voice mail if you do."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rehired, #alice back, #dulled instincts, #first day abck, #business picking up

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Business is picking up. We need to rehire some of the people that we downsized. I hope the time off from work hasn't dulled their engineering instincts. The first day back is always the hardest.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #need approval, #exhausted, #bored, #head ache, #business travel

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "I need your approval to.." "... Be exhausted, bored, stiff, headachy, annoyed and constipated for the next three days." "Also known as 'business travel.'" The Boss: "I must be traveling right now!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #picture n stapler, #personal items, #desktops, #exception, #eat paper, #parasite

View Transcript

Transcript

"Do you mind if I put your picture on my stapler?" "Well, I don't allow personal items on desktops, but I'll make an exception." "Eat paper you ignorant parasite! Ha ha ha!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #small business, #need to be paid, #small man, #truthful, #painfully honest

View Transcript

Transcript

I own a small business. Its imperative that you pay us on time or else we'll go out of business. and then you wouldn't ever need to pay... Oh dear lord, what have I said?!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sublet space, #business case, #risks and drivers, #changed mind

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "We only have two people on the third floor. Let's move them to our empty cubes here and sublet the space." The Boss: "Write a business case with all the risks and business drivers and I'll consider it." Dilbert: "I changed my mind. We shouldn't so anything." The boss: "I need a business case for that, too."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #no written objectives, #free to help, #personal philosophy

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: I'm cruising into my fifth month with no written objectives. some philosophers would say that having no objectives means Im free to help any team that asks. Wally: My personal philosophy is more along the lines of hiding.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #negotiate sale, #voice activated hassock business, #no lying, #plenty of ommissions, #tactical ignorance

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "I want you to negotiate the sale of our voice activated hassock business." "You're not allowed to lie, but I expect plenty of omissions, misdirections, exaggerations..." "...Unjustified optimism, lost documents, unclear explanations, gray areas and tactical ignorance. Oh, and say that we have other offers."