Planning On Listening Comic Strips - Page 18

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

197 Results for Planning On Listening

View 171 - 180 results for planning on listening comic strips. Discover the best "Planning On Listening" comics from Dilbert.com.

Biggest Risk To Happiness

Thank you for voting.
Biggest Risk To Happiness  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 2016's comic on:


Tags #happiness, #Advice, #complaining, #conversation, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: The biggest risk to your happiness involves listening to other people. When they aren't trying to make you work, they're complaining. Asok: I hate that. Wally: Shhh. Don't talk.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 31, 2016's comic on:


Tags #time, #time management

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: You asked for a breakdown of what I did this month. I wasted 25 percent of my time in useless meetings. I spent 33 percent of my time listening to co-workers complain about other co-workers. I used 11 percent to resend files I already sent. 14 percent went to dealing with a rumor you started by accident. 16 percent went toward working on the wrong things because you communicate poorly. Boss: What did you do with the 1 percent that was left? Dilbert: You just experienced it.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 21, 2016's comic on:


Tags #financial, #jargon, #money, #accounting, #language

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I think it is important for every employee to understand our company's income statement. I don't have time to get into all of the details, so I'll hit the high points. Compared to last year... our ebida have been amortized over an accrued market discount. Meanwhile, our capital account liabilities have a pass-through income that is far larger than our on-time costs. And the mome raths outgrabe. Too far? Dilbert: I wasn't listening.

Dogbert's Recommendations

Thank you for voting.
Dogbert's Recommendations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 2016's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #consultant, #listening, #employees, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert Consults. Dogbert: I recommend doing all of the things your employees have been telling you to do. Boss: I don't see why I should pay you for this. Dogbert: Oh. Then how about doing all the things your competition is doing? Boss: Now, that's a great idea. Dogbert: Good, because that's what your employees have been telling you to do.

Ted Is Doing A Terrible Job

Thank you for voting.
Ted Is Doing A Terrible Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 2017's comic on:


Tags #talking, #conversation, #boring, #annoy, #quitting, #boredom

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Ted is doing a terrible job. Catbert: Maybe you should talk to him. Boss: What should I say? Catbert: It doesn't matter. Five minutes of listening to you will make him want to quit. Boss: That's crazy enough to work. Catbert: You've only been here for two minutes and my tail is asleep.

Rather Eat Garbage

Thank you for voting.
Rather Eat Garbage - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 2017's comic on:


Tags #choosing, #choices, #boredom, #listening, #trash, #garbage, #suffering

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Would you rather eat garbage or listen to our boss talk about his weekend? Dilbert: I'd have to know more about the garbage to make that decision. Wally: Let's say it's mostly kitchen stuff. Dilbert: Am I eating it from the can or fighting birds for it?

Trust The Boss

Thank you for voting.
Trust The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 24, 2017's comic on:


Tags #trust, #confidence, #vampire, #dead, #trustworthy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're not planning any changes, trust me. Dilbert: Trust you? I've seen your browser history. I wouldn't trust you to guard a funeral home. Boss: That's the easiest job ever. Just drive stakes through the hearts of the dead and they'll stay put. Dilbert: To my point.

Tina Won't Stop Talking

Thank you for voting.
Tina Won't Stop Talking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 2017's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #company policy, #politeness, #etiquette, #time, #talking

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our new politeness policy is having unintended consequences. I just spent four hours listening to Tina talk about hear health problems because the company says it is rude to just walk away. Wally: How did you escape? Dilbert: She had a health problem. I got lucky.

Craving Vacation

Thank you for voting.
Craving Vacation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 2017's comic on:


Tags #vacation, #conversation, #work, #workload, #annoy, #annoyance

View Transcript

Transcript

Tine: I hear you have some vacation days coming. Planning anything big? Dilbert: I plan to catch up on all the work I couldn't get done here because people keep interrupting me. Tina: That's a sad vacation. Dilbert: Then why am I craving it right now?

Better Listener Robot

Thank you for voting.
Better Listener Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 2017's comic on:


Tags #robot, #boyfriend, #free will, #programming, #listening, #Opinion, #relationships, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I'm updating your boyfriend code to make you a better listener. I want to see more nodding and less talking. Robot: But I have so much to offer. Alice: I'll dial back your ego, too.