Sales Comic Strips - Page 18

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

197 Results for Sales

View 171 - 180 results for sales comic strips. Discover the best "Sales" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ignorance (knowledge), sales personnel, existing system, ignorance us not an option, survey

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'll need to know if your device is compatible with our existing system. Salesman: It is 100% compatible with your system. Dilbert: I didn't even tell you what system we have. Salesman: That doesn't matter. Dilbert: It sort of does. Salesman: Not to me. Dilbert: So you don't really know if it will work? Salesman: I'm entitled to my opinion. Dilbert: Ignorance is not an opinion!!! Salesman: Please stay on the line for a brief survey.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engineers, sales personnel, offer discount, chair, runaway

View Transcript

Transcript

Salesman vs. Engineer Dilbert: Can you offer us a discount? Salesman: I had something like that in mind, except instead of giving a discount, I would hit you with a chair and run away. Dilbert: Please don't do that. Salesman: Okay, but I'll have to charge you extra.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags alcoholic beverages, executive retreat, executives, lower prices, price war, prices, profit margin, strategy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our new strategy is to lower our prices to increase sales. Dilbert: So our strategy is to start a price war and drive our profit margin to zero? Boss: It made sense at the executive retreat. Alice: Was alcohol involved?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, sales personnel, linux, million dollars, pay for upgrade, away for free

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I'll sell you the rights to use Linux for one million dollars. After the first month, you only need to pay for every upgrade. Boss: It sounds too good to be true. Dogbert: It's not as if I'm giving it away for free.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags drinking, hiring, personality tests, sales, sales personnel, sociopaths, storytelling skills, morgue, selfie, dead guy, super drunk, hired, sales person, new hire, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can tell a lot from an applicant's storytelling skills. So tell me a story. Man: Last week, I broke into a morgue and took a selfie with a dead guy. But in my defense, I was super drunk. Boss: I hired a new salesperson.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags blame, ceos, cnbc, executives, home address, layoffs, new prodcuts, product, quarterly, zero

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Our sales for the quarter are zero. Because I might have mentioned on CNBC that we have a better, cheaper model coming soon. So... great job on the new product... and I need to fire half of you so it looks as if I do things. Voice: What is your home address?

Marketing Is Only Legal Because It Doesn't Work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Marketing Is Only Legal Because It Doesn't Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags etiquette & ethics, marketing, robot, robotics, slave, technology, emotionally manipulate, marketing leagl, enslave humans, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: Sales are up 900% since we programmed our robots to emotionally manipulate their owners into buying upgrades. Dilbert: Um, you do know marketing is only legal because it doesn't work most of the time, right? Coworker; Nope. I do not know that. Shiny! Dilbert: We invented a technology to enslave homo sapiens?

The Generic Graph

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Generic Graph - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags money, cost, saving, chart, graph, penny pinching, thrift, frugality

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The sales estimate looks like this. Alice: That looks like a chart you showed us yesterday about our travel budget. Boss: The company is standardizing on this one chart.

Nod At Preset Intervals

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Nod At Preset Intervals - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lying, lie, collusion, nonverbal communication, honest, sales, sales personnel, ethics, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You don't have to lie to customers, but at least nod your head when our salesperson lies. Dilbert: Can I not at preset intervals and let the salesperson time the lies to my nods? Salesman: I can work with that.

Dilbert Times His Nods

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Times His Nods - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags honesty, candor, lying, deception, sales, sales personnel, ethics, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Client: Why does your engineer keep nodding? Dilbert: I don't like to lie, so I just nod while he times his lies to my nods. You were totally right about them hating candor.