Thought Diveristy Comic Strips - Page 18

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

268 Results for Thought Diveristy

View 171 - 180 results for thought diveristy comic strips. Discover the best "Thought Diveristy" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #can't survive, #flyswatter, #late invoices

View Transcript

Transcript

A man says, "My tiny company can't survive if you insist on paying our invoices late." The Boss says, "You should have thought of that before you decided to become a tiny company." The Boss says, "Come here for a second." A man says, "Please... not the flyswatter."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elderly, #old, #phone, #landline phones, #no caller id, #new technology, #offered hard candy, #fiddlesticks, #couldn't hear

View Transcript

Transcript

We surveyed a thousand people who still have landline phones and no caller I.D. We asked for their opinion on our new technology. 34% said, "Fiddlesticks," and 23% couldn't hear the question. 43% thought we were in the room with them and offered us a hard candy.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nose job, #snout, #dog nose, #health insurance, #surgery, #veterinarian, #career, #match looks, #engineer, #shake hands, #art department, #medical, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Our policy is to put people in careers that match their looks." Asok says, "I thought that was a coincidence." The Boss says, "Your botched nose job makes you too unconventional to be an engineer." Asok says, "No!" Woman says, "Welcome to the art department." Man says, "Man, I wish I was brave enough to get a snout."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #honest feedback, #strategy, #lie, #misperception, #hate people, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Alice, I called this meeting because you're the only person I trust to give me honest feedback on my strategy." Alice says, "It's great. It's amazing. It's the best strategy in the universe." The Boss says, "I thought you were honest." Alice says, "That's a common misperception. I just hate people."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stern, #client specs, #lion pecs, #angry, #yell, #question, #mishear, #avoid work, #lazy

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker says, "Wally, did you review the client's specs like I asked you to?" Wally says, "What?!" Wally says, "I thought you asked me to 'preview the lion's pecs.'" Coworker says, "Why would I ask you to preview a lion's pecs?!!" Wally says, "So... now you want me to question everything you say?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work-life balance, #lazy, #annoyed, #clench teeth, #angry

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I need to get some of that work-life balance I keep hearing about." Wally says, "I thought about work all last night at home, so what do I do now?" Wally says, "It's not too late to get in on this."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #presentation, #sales division, #freak out, #dehydrate, #water, #sweat, #public speaking, #scared, #dry, #skeleton

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Alice, I need you to give a presentation to the entire sales division." Alice says, "GAAA!!! The very thought of public speaking dehydrates me!" The Boss thinks, "Maybe I should find someone moister."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #eat lunch, #front, #rich, #book deal, #pirate, #illegal, #buy

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "Soon my book of pointy-haired boss quotes will be published and I will be rich." Wally says, "It sounds great. I can't wait to get my pirated copy." Asok says, "Or you could buy it." Dilbert says, "I thought you said it was a book."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #confusion, #fear, #firings, #humor, #meeting, #panic, #downsized, #spam folder, #recession, #intern, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "You still work here? I thought I downsized you last week." Asok says, "Um?I don't think so." The Boss says, "Check your spam folder after the meeting." Dilbert says, "First recession?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #order, #demand, #email, #internet, #annoyance, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Carol, send an e-mail to the department with my leadership thought of the day." Carol says, "What is it?" The Boss says, "I'm busy. Make up something." 'That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger. So please slap me in my fat, bald head.'