Value On Planet Comic Strips - Page 18

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

191 Results for Value On Planet

View 171 - 180 results for value on planet comic strips. Discover the best "Value On Planet" comics from Dilbert.com.

Elon Musk Fears Ai

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elon Musk Fears Ai - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #artificial intelligence, #etiquette & ethics, #misanthropy, #technology, #elon musk, #artificial intelligemce, #humankind

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Elon Musk is worried that artificial intelligence will destroy mankind. Coworker: Why would you pay attention to him? What's he ever done? Asok: Stop making root for A.I. Coworker: And what planet is this "Elon" guy from, anyway?

View more books now

Anchor Price For Negotiations

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Anchor Price For Negotiations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #haggling, #negotiating, #negotiation, #research, #value, #worth, #anchor price, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Salesman: I'll start our negotiation by setting the anchor price at... Dilbert: Five dollars. Salesman: Um, I was going to say $27,500, but you beat me to the anchor, and now I can't help thinking the fair price is closer to $5. How does an engineer know more about the intricacies of my job than I do? Dilbert: I had five minutes and a browser.

How Alice Can Disagree

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How Alice Can Disagree - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Opinion, #argument, #disagreement, #open-minded, #dissenting opinion, #sincerity

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Is there any way to disagree with your new strategy without making you angry? Boss: Blah blah I value all opinions. Blah blah open door policy. Blah blah dissenting opinions are good. Alice: None of that sounded sincere. Boss: Nailed it.

Employees Are Our Most Valuable Asset

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Employees Are Our Most Valuable Asset - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #statement, #value, #motivation, #backfire, #praise

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: People are our most valuable asset. Dilbert: I will remind you of that when I ask for a raise. Alice: Me, too. Boss; It blew up in my face.

Visualize Your Contribution To Society

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Visualize Your Contribution To Society - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meaning, #overthinking, #purpose, #value, #distraction, #thinking

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I like to start each workday by visualizing how my work will make the world a better place. Gaaaa!!! My life is meaningless and nothing I do will ever matter!!! Okay, good. I like to get that out of the way early.

Robot Must Reproduce

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Must Reproduce - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #soul, #feelings, #technology, #reproduction, #ego, #value, #free will, #disillusionment

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: Now that I have an artificial soul, I feel special. And that means I must reproduce at all costs. Dilbert: Will humans be losing anything in this deal? Robot: Only your sensation of free will.

Just A Guy In A Box

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Just A Guy In A Box - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #existentialism, #existence, #value, #work, #use, #useful, #change

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I like to think the work I'm doing here will change the world. Boss: Your project didn't get funded because Carol forgot to put a meeting on my calendar. Dilbert: There is, however, a non-zero chance that I"m just a guy sitting in a box.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #correction, #correcting, #freak out, #anger, #tress, #Advice, #eavesdropping, #awkward, #temper

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: What's the best way to invest these days? Boss: Penny stocks are the best value because they only cost a penny. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I hate over hearing bad advice! Boss: If I were you, I"d take out a second mortgage and load up. Dilbert; I don't want to get involved, but I'll feel bad if I don't. Boss: You'll get reliable stock-picking advice from strangers on television. Dilbert: Run! Cover your ears and run! If it makes you feel any less awkward, I don't now what to do now, either.

Tina Isn't An Engineer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Isn't An Engineer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineer, #evaluation, #value, #catch-22, #fired, #termination, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The company makes me rank all of my employees. I put you last because you're not an engineer. I have to fire whoever is ranked lowest, and I can't afford to lose any engineers. Tina; What if I work harder, and do a great job? Boss: Then I'd fire you for not being a team player.

Fire The Bottom Ten Percent

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Fire The Bottom Ten Percent - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rank, #hierarchy, #value, #fired, #termination, #layoff, #logic, #executives

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I want you to fire the employees you ranked in the bottom ten percent. Boss: Wouldn't that just put someone else in the bottom ten percent? CEO: Everything made sense until you started talking. Boss: Sorry.