Worst Advice Comic Strips - Page 18

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267 Results for Worst Advice

View 171 - 180 results for worst advice comic strips. Discover the best "Worst Advice" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #coworker, #crazy, #shouting, #business

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Man says, "I'm one of those people who can't explain things without a whiteboard, but I'll try." Man says, the?uh?fug?fuh?wah?um?thingamajig?fuh?fuh?eh?" Dilbert says, "Worst case I've seen." Man says, "Yee?woo?ee-yi-ee-yi-moo?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 2009's comic on:


Tags #assignment, #stupidity, #yelling, #Advice, #reading

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The boss says, "Tina, answer this customer complaint. And remembert, the customer is always an idiot." Tina says, "I think you mean the customer is always?um?oh my?" The boss says, "Quick! Pop your ears so your head doesn't explode!" Gurk!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 2009's comic on:


Tags #reading, #guide, #Advice, #guilt, #annoyed

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Asok says, "According to the book of Wally, I should use something called 'Preemptive guilt' to avoid work." Wally says, "Exactly. If you wait until after you get an assignment, it is already too late for guilt." Wally says, "Stress killed both of my parents. The doctors said they worked too hard."q

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 21, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #finances, #idea, #ridiculous, #asking, #unsure, #corrupt, #business

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "We're getting into the financial services game." Dogbert says, "That way all of our products can be imaginary." Man says, "Can you give me reliable investment advice?" Man says, "Yes, as far as I know."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 31, 2009's comic on:


Tags #work, #orders, #miserable, #cruel, #mean, #trip, #ridiculous

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The Boss says, "I need you to attend a three-day industry standards meeting in Elbonia." Dilbert says, "Why Elbonia?" The boss says, "Because Elbonia is the worst place on Earth. The member companies don't want this to look like a boondoggle." Dilbert says, "I guess three days won't be so bad." The boss says, "You're not allowed to eat."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 2009's comic on:


Tags #introduction, #consultant, #stupidity, #Advice, #confused, #questioning, #business

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The boss says, "I hired my unemployed golf buddy to consult." Dilbert says, "What are his qualifications?" The boss says, "He has two qualifications: He's unemployed and he's a golf buddy." Man says, "I recommend firing the whistleblower and playing nine before it gets dark."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 2009's comic on:


Tags #new employee, #introduction, #greeting, #Advice, #scared, #regretting, #ridiculous

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The Boss says, "Welcome to your first day on the job." The boss says, "Always lock your desk at night because many of your coworkers are crooks." The boss says, "And the ones that have eyes like this got hired before we did drug testing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 2009's comic on:


Tags #analysis, #idea, #suggestion, #complaining, #Advice, #greed, #science

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Dilbert says, "According to my analysis, all future ideas are already covered by over-general patents." Dilbert says, "Our best strategy is to get out of this business and become trademark infringement lawyers." The boss says, "I don't know how to be a lawyer." Catbert says, "That only matters if you take cases on a contingency basis."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 2009's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #problems, #solution, #misunderstanding, #ignoring, #confused, #stupidity

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Dilbert says, "You're paying contractors to do work that I could do if I weren't always in unproductive meetings." Dilbert says, "You could hire temps to attend the unproductive meetings for me, and fire the more expensive contractors." Dilbert says, "Why don't I understand what you just said?" Dilbert says, "Because it made sense?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #computer, #Advice, #fire, #pain, #angry, #unexpected, #technology

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Carol says, "Now what do I do?" Dilbert says ,"Click some buttons and see what happens. You can't hurt anything." Click Fzzeet! Dilbert says, "In my defense, that hardly ever happens."