Ceo Comic Strips - Page 19
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Character
627 Results for Ceo
View 181 - 190 results for CEO comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday June 20,
2007
Tags green consultant, rm your suv, hybrid cars, stop using fuel, save earth, other people sacrifice
Transcript
Dogbert the green consultant Dogbert: "Try ramming your SUV into hybrid cars." "That should stop them from using fuel altogether." "You can't save the Earth unless you're willing to make other people sacrifice." CEO: "I'm in."
Monday April 02,
2007
Tags ceo, eliminate dept, what do we do, explain things, morons
Transcript
The boss: Our CEO wants to eliminate our department because he doesn't know what we do. "I need someone to tell me what we do so I can tell him." Dilbert: "We explain things to morons." The Boss: "Should I be writing this down?"
Thursday August 16,
2012
Tags announcement, economic value, engineers, google, mergers & acquisitions, modern day, podium, public speaking, slave trader
Transcript
CEO: Google has offered to buy our company for $100 million just to get our engineers. I agreed to the deal because I'm a modern day slave trader who believes engineers are property and the rest of you have no economic value. Who wrote my speech? Employee: Someone with no economic value.
Friday August 24,
2012
Tags average person, offer low prices, prices, products on sale, raising prices, smart enough
Transcript
CEO: We're going to stop pretending our products are always on sale and instead offer low prices all the time. The average person is smart enough to know that our so-called sales prices are our normal prices anyway. Dilbert: Have you ever talked to an average person? Boss: Tell me again why we're raising all of our prices?
Saturday August 25,
2012
Tags business ethics, fake 50%, dumb customers, smart shoppers, $400 per hour, freaking genius
Transcript
Dogbert consults Dogbert: Your fake 50% sale prices make dumb customers feel like smart shoppers. CEO: Why am I paying you $400 an hour to tell me what I already know? Dogbert: Usually I charge $800 and hour. CEO: Yes! I'm a freakin' genius.
Thursday September 13,
2012
Tags rich people, stock market, victims, insider training, victimless crime, rose bushes, gardner, money
Transcript
CEO: I did some insider trading and totally got away with it. It felt great! It was a victimless crime so I feel no guilt whatsoever. Dogbert: Do you know what victimless means? CEO: Yes. It's like the time I strangled my gardener for overwatering the rose bushes. Dogbert: I see the problem.
Friday September 14,
2012
Tags business ethics, poor persons, rich people, invented ethics, trash talk
Transcript
CEO: Did you know that poor people invented ethics to control rich people? Nice try, poor people! It's not working! If they haven't killed me by now, a little trash talk won't make any difference.
Wednesday September 19,
2012
Tags work ethic, key to success, knowing when to quit
Transcript
CEO: Persistence is the key to success. The other key is knowing when to quit. Dilbert: The right time for you was one sentence sooner.
Monday September 24,
2012
Tags cold desperation, drab, grimy habitat, meaningless, pile of money, poor persons, rich people, roll in money, underling
Transcript
CEO: Uh-oh. I'm lost and I've wandered into the grimy habitat of an underling. I feel the cold desperation of your drab and meaningless life. I need to roll in money to get the smell off me. Where's the nearest pile?
Saturday September 29,
2012
Tags executives, meetings, new team, company change startegy, meetings turn awkward
Transcript
CEO: My new executive team got together and figured out the source of all of our problems. Dilbert: Is the problem that the executive team keeps changing, and that means the company strategy keeps changing? Wally: Is the problem that all of our meetings turn awkward?


