Doesn't Fly Comic Strips - Page 19

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View 181 - 190 results for doesn't fly comic strips. Discover the best "Doesn't Fly" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #airport, #gold stories, #change seat, #six hour flight

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Caption: "At the airport" The huge, annoying woman spots Dilbert and yells, "Hey, Dilbert! We must be taking the same flight!" Woman says, "I'll change my seat assignment so we can talk for six hours." Dilbert exclaims, "No, no! That's okay!" Dilbert doesn't want to sit by her. Sitting next to each other on the plane, woman says, "These flights can be very long if you don't have someone to listen to your golf stories."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #top executives, #locked, #conference room, #starved to death, #call help, #phone, #trouble, #deciosns, #get outside line

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Alice peaks into Dilbert's cube while he is sitting at his computer terrminal and says, "I just heard that all our top executives got locked in a conference room and starved to death." Dilbert replies, "Why didn't they use the phone to call for help?" Caption: One week ago... Three executives sitting at a table staring at a phone. One, while holding a piece of paper, says, "It's agreed: We dial 83 to get an outside line." Another executive says, "Uh-oh. This one doesn't do decimals."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #mother, #buy wquipment, #budget cut, #navy seal, #mom proud, #blocks reality, #doesn't hear son, #Family

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Dilbert and Dilbert's Mom are in the kitchen. Dilbert says, "My boss told me to buy a bunch of equipment that we don't need." Dilbert's Mom hands Dilbert a piece of cake and a glass of milk. Dilbert says, "That way our budget won't get cut next year." Dilbert's mom says, "I'm so proud of you, son." Dilbert says, "How do you say that with a straight face?" Dilbert's mom says, "I try to imagine you as a navy seal." Dilbert's mom salutes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales man, #vendor, #offcie, #fake personality, #buy stuff, #blue things, #so dumb

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Dilbert sits at a conference table with a salesperson. Dilbert says, "...And we'll buy a dozen of these. We're trying to spend our budget so it doesn't get cut next year." The salesperson says, "This is great! You guys are so dumb that I don't even have to use my fake personality to make the sale!" Dilbert says, "...And nine of these blue things." Salesperson turns away and pulls his pants down. The salesperson says, "There's a full moon on the horizon!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cubicle, #land on moon, #temperature, #oxygen levels, #space program, #hoax, #nasa hiding, #love engineers

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The cubicle lands on the moon. Dilbert says, "We're the first cubicle to land on the moon." Dilbert and Dogbert walk on the surface of the moon. Dilbert says, "The temperature and oxygen levels are fine. Apparently the space program is a hoax." Dogbert says, "NASA must be hiding something here." Two women appear. The women hold wine glasses and wear dresses. The brunette says, "Hi. We're the women who love engineers." The blond has a heart above her head. Dilbert's hair and tie stick straight up. Dilbert's eyebrows raise. Dobert's ear's fly up.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #time to work, #two assignments, #essential business, #boss solution, #impossible, #doesn't understand

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Dilbert stands in The Boss's doorway. Dilbert holds two pieces of paper. Dilbert says, "I have time to do ONE of these two assignments." Dilbert says, "One is essential to the business the other is not. Which ONE do you want me to do?" The Boss says, "Both!" Dilbert says, "I know you WANT both. But if you can only GET one..." The Boss says, "Combine them and just do one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #teach elbonians, #cobol, #reschedule, #send wally, #dilbert doesn't know cobol

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Dilbert stands with The Boss. Dilbert's arms are raised in anger. Dilbert says, "Why are sending ME to teach cobol to the Elbonians? Wally is the one who knows cobol, not me." The Boss says, "Wally said he's busy that day." Dilbert says, "Can't you reschedule the class." The Boss says, "Okay... does tomorrow work for you?" Dilbert raises his clenched fists. Dilbert says, "YOU"RE SOLVING THE WRONG PROBLEM!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #%#*!!*, #asoks ears, #curse at work, #ears fell off, #like to curse, #vulgarity, #warm up

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Ann sits in a meeting with Dilbert and Wally. Ann says, "I must warn you, I'm one of those women who like to curse at work." Ann turns to Asok and screams several obscenities. Asok's tie and hair fly back in a stiff wind. Ann says, "That was my warm up." Asok says, "My ears fell off!!" Asok looks at the conference table where an ear lays on other side of his paper.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fill out form, #rules, #helpless, #defeated atitude, #excellent job, #quitting time, #useless form

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Dilbert follows Carol as she walks away. Dilbert holds a piece of paper. Dilbert says, "Why should I fill out this form? It would take an hour and it doesn't even apply to me." Carol says, "I don't make the rules. I just apply them with a helpless and defeated attitude." Dilbert says, "You're doing an excellent job." Carol looks at her watch and says, "Seven more hours until quitting time."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #email, #alice ignores asok, #voice mail, #doesn't respond

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Asok peers into Alice's cubicle. Asok says, "Alice, you never responded to my e-mail." Asok says, "Maybe I could ask you my question, now in person?" Alice says, "Send me a voice mail." Asok says, "Will you respond to a voice mail?" Alice says, "Sometimes the phone company loses them."