Employees Comic Strips - Page 19
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581 Results for Employees
View 181 - 190 results for employees comic strips. Discover the best "Employees" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday August 14,
2011
Tags business ethics, research facilities, work home, 2 days, twice as prodcutive, elaborate science experiment, commute to sit in box, control group, frustration
Transcript
Dilbert: Can I work at home for two days per week? I can be twice as productive, and happier at the same time. Boss: I probably shouldn't tell you this... but you're part of an elaborate science experiment to see how much frustrations it takes to kill employees. Why else would the company make you commute for two hours a day just to sit in a tiny box? Don't feel bad: no one told me either. I had to piece it together from the evidence. Now I do my part to keep the experiment moving along. Dilbert: Other people work from home. Boss: Are you referring to the control group?
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday September 11,
2011
Tags employees, unemployed, job performance, fire someone, cubicle, fired, wake up call, greatness, business
Transcript
Boss: Dilbert, your job performance is terrific. Dilbert: GAAA!!! That's code for "I'm going to fire someone else and make you do two jobs." Boss: Yes, but it's still better to be you than the guy I'm going to fire. Dilbert: We don't know that! This might be the wake-up call that spurs him on to greatness while I work myself to death in this cubicle. Boss: There's no way to please some people. Ted, you're fired. Ted: YES!
Monday September 26,
2011
Tags employees, violence, burt nount, started yesterday, sneezed away, business
Transcript
Man: Hi, my name is Burnt Nount. I started here yesterday. Alice: Sneeze coming. AAACHOOO!! I gotta warn you, they come in threes.
Wednesday October 05,
2011
Tags cruelty, employees, employee of month, october 1929, room to grow, past date, past month, business
Transcript
Boss: Congratulations, Asok. I'm naming you employee of the month. Your month is October 1929. Room to grow.
Saturday October 08,
2011
Tags doctors, employees, medicines, nice guys, paid less, aggressive jerks, offer raise, testosterone injections, illegal, dangerous, unethical, tiny income, business
Transcript
Dilbert: Studies show that nice guys get paid less than aggressive jerks. Dogbert: Maybe you should offer your doctor 10% of your next raise if he gives you testosterone injections. Dilbert: That would be illegal, dangerous, and unethical. Dogbert: Said the man with the tiny income.
Wednesday October 12,
2011
Tags employees, office workers, worked at home, work tonight, leaving early, work late, business
Transcript
Boss: Leaving early? Dilbert: If you count the two hours I worked at home when I woke up, and the two hours I'll work tonight you'll come out way ahead today. Boss: How will I come out if you do all of that plus work late here?
Monday October 31,
2011
Tags employees, illness, marketing people, brain heals, drank sludge, brain worm, dead in a week, business
Transcript
Asok: Hi-ho, marketing people! I've been transferred into your department until mky brain heals. I drank some industrial sludge. But don't worry - I'll be able to shake it off in a few days. A little pollution can't hurt me. I grew up in India. This brain worm will be dead in a week, tops.
Tuesday November 01,
2011
Tags employees, executives, non giant situation, shoulders of giants, non giant, business
Transcript
CEO: As your CEO, if I have seen farther, it is only because I stood on the shoulders of giants. Plus whatever is going on over here. Dilbert: That's sort of a non-giant situation. Wally: And I haven't had shoulders since I was ten.
Friday November 04,
2011
Tags comparing a task, criticism, employees, executives, quality is bad, your imagination, time, quality, boss, business
Transcript
Boss: Why did this take so long? Dilbert: You're comparing a task - the likes of which has never been done - to your imagination of how long such things should take. Boss: Well then, the quality is bad. Dilbert: Compared to... ?
Monday November 07,
2011
Tags employees, executives, fought boss, get raise, terrific boss, no credible witnesses, business
Transcript
Boss: I fought with my boss to get you a raise but I lost. I'm always fighting for you behind the scenes. Alice: You're a terrific boss whenever there are no credible witnesses. Boss: Thank you.

