Software Comic Strips - Page 19

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298 Results for Software

View 181 - 190 results for software comic strips. Discover the best "Software" comics from Dilbert.com.

Keyboard Upgrades

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Keyboard Upgrades  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sarcasm, technology, keyboard, design, keys, better, hard, software, upgrades

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dilbert: i have an idea for a keyboard design that we upgrade every six months by rearranging where the keys are. boss: why would we do that? dilbert: to make it better. boss: that would only make it harder to use. dilbert: exactly like our software upgrades. what's your point?

Simulation Nonsense

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Simulation Nonsense - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, computer, computer software, days, fast, nonsense, ruin, simulation, technology, upgrade, coffee

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tina: it feels as if the days are going by faster lately. dilbert: that's because we're a computer simulation that just got a software upgrade. tina: there's really nothing you can't ruin with that nonsense, is there? dilbert: i hear that a lot.

Disinfecting Keyboard

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Disinfecting Keyboard - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, fire, software, vendors, disinfect, keyboard, random, message, accident, mistake

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dilbert: i fired all of our software vendors and erased my hard drive as you ordered. boss holding bottle of disinfectant: really? i was disinfecting my keyboard, and i must have sent you a random message by accident. oops.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computer software, internet & world wide web, coding, paywall, website, wrote script, new content, idea to eliminate, revenue, lowered costs, technology

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Boss: Wally, did you finish coding the paywall for our website? Wally: I did something better. I wrote a script to delete any new content as soon as it's posted. At bonus time, keep in mind that you're the one who had the idea to eliminate revenue, and I'm the one who lowered hosting costs.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computer software, ignorance (knowledge), managers & supervisors, business

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The Boss says, "I hired a consultant to help us evolve our products to cloud computing." Dogbert says, "Blah blah cloud. Blah blah cloud. Blah blah cloud. Blah blah cloud." The Boss says, "It's as if your'e a technologist and a philosopher all in one!" Dogbert says, "blah blah platform."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computer software, computers & peripherals, conversation, risk assessment tools, communicate, enhance sector

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Man: We need to enhance our sector-relevant support for a suite of integrated risk assessment tools. Do you understand? Dilbert: Maybe. Is your point that you don't know how to communicate? Man: No. Dilbert: Oh. Then I didn't get it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computer, computer software, Dilbert, display, internet, michael, microchip, online, screen, software

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Michael: Let me show you a round the inside of your computer. Dilbert: Neat! Michael: Here's where we generate the hypnotic signals for your display screen. Dilbert: Why? Michael: To make you think you need more computers. Dilbert: Good lord, you've learned to reproduce!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computer software, inventions, 3d network, motion sensors, sneezed, merged network, 15th of cisco

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In the near future Wally: I was manipulating a 3-D network model using my hand motion sensors. It was all good until I sneezed and accidentally merged my network design with my outlook calendar. Boss: When will you have that fixed? Wally: I should be done by... the 15th of Cisco.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computer, academy award winner, next years award, best actor, technology

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"To configure the software, enter the name of next year's academy award winner for best actor." "Please wait."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dogbert venture capitalist, word processing, windows, interesting concept, french bread

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Dogbert sits in a restaurant with a businessman. The businessman says, "My idea is to develop a word processing program for Windows." Dogbert says, "That's an interesting concept. I wonder if twenty dollars would be enough." The businessman asks, "To start a software company?" Dogbert answers, "No, to pay our waitress to beat you with a loaf of French bread." The waitress enters carrying a loaf of bread.