Stand On Stool Comic Strips - Page 19

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

218 Results for Stand On Stool

View 181 - 190 results for stand on stool comic strips. Discover the best "Stand On Stool" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"I got your overly brief e-mail, which obviously means you hate me and everything I stand for!" "I was in a hurry and didn't want to make you wait for a reply." "Well, okay, but I still have residual hatred that I'll need to transfer to some other aspect of your personality." "Fair enough."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags 5 minute huddle, high energy, standup meeting, solved in minute

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I want the entire staff to meet at 10 A.M. every day for a five-minute huddle. The Boss: We'll use this high-energy stand-up meeting to solve problems and share successes. The Boss: Who has a problem that can be solved in a minute?"Wally: I'm tired. Can I sit on you?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags victor, project, goat head, upset, angry, awful, slap, help, ask, wind up, stand on one leg, cringe, hard hit, dolphin head, change species, seeing stars, messy hair

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "Alice, a horrible accident has given me a goat head. I need you to slap me so hard that I change species from the neck up." Alice says, "Hold still, Asok. This might take a few tries." Two Hours Later Alice says, "Dolphin is close! One more should do it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags walk, outside, project, budget, executive cancel, wag tail, evil, cure, incompetence, back shot, stand on stump

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "We realized our project can't work even if we execute it perfectly." Dilbert says, "Our boss' plan is to go over budget, attract attention, and hope an executive cancels our project for his own political reasons." Dogbert says, "Now do you agree that evil is the cure for incompetence?" Dilbert says, "Don't make me say it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags eat donut, doughnut, feng shui, workflow energy, project, stack of papers, design specs, angry, superstition, science

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "It's good Feng Shui to stand next to you because you absorb the workflow energy." Alice says, "What?" The Boss says, "I need someone to check all of these design specs before tomorrow morning." Wally says, "Some people call it superstition, but I'm pretty sure it's a science."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags feedback, website design, computer, eyes wide, psychopath, photo wall, toe fungus, despair, yell, mouth open, scared, pain, satan, licking, brain, tone down, hair stand up, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina says, "I need your honest feedback on our new website design." Asok says, "The layout looks like a psychopath's photo wall. The colors remind me of toe fungus and despair." Tina says, "I'll say, 'needs work.'" Asok says, "It feels like Satan is licking my brain!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags tech support, sit down, talk, stool, computer, headset, technical problems, trick, hurt, pessimism, angry, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "It's not right to use your tech support job to trick people into hurting themselves." Dogbert says, "I help people take their minds off of hopeless technical problems." Dilbert says, "How do you know a problem is hopeless?" Dogbert says, "Great. So now pessimism is a crime?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags skill assessment, lazy, bad worker, morning person, sleepy, afternoon, sell stock, stand on chair

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I get sleepy in the afternoon. And I'm not a morning person." Wally says, "I'm at my best for about an hour in between, which explains why I'm an exceptionally good lunch eater." The Boss says, "How's the workforce skills assessment going?" Catbert says, "I just sold all of my company stock."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work, happy, prince of insufficient light, devil, giant spoon, meeting, photoshop, upset, sweat, grab tie, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Phil, The Prince of Insufficient Light Phil says, "You stand accused of being happy at work."<RB>Phil says, "Your penalty is to attend a meeting so horrible that none may speak its name." Photoshop your co-worker's photo onto the torso below. Dilbert says, "No... Please... anything but this."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, colors, useless, hatred, complaining, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "At the value stream stand up meeting, all status reports must be in the form of red, yellow, or green." Mauve Ecru Cerulean Puce the boss says, "Sometimes the only point of a meeting is to remind me how much I hate them."